Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Week 10 Results: And It Ends With A THUD

Kansas City Chiefs v Carolina Panthers : News Photo 
So predictability because mostly everything in my life just has to suck, only 1 team was eliminated from playoff contention this week...me. I mean who didn't see this coming. Horrible week of matchups that I knew none of my guys were going to overcome (heaven forbid) and I even benched two guys with horrible matchups in Brandon Marshall and Todd Gurley (who did pretty bad) but my replacements did  EVEN WORSE. Love how that works...everyone else plugs in guys like Jamison Crowder, Colin Kaepernick, Quincy Enunwa, Adam Humphries, Jack Doyle and they work out beautifully. Me? Not even close to working..they always blow up in my face. This week it really didn't matter who I put in my lineup..they all blew. So that's it. With no fanfare..no dramatics...in Week 10, 2016 my fantasy football career officially ends and it's so fitting it ends with my team scoring shitty points and getting my ass kicked and once again having someone score more points than he typically does on any other given week. I'm not going to lie..I'm pissed..but not as pissed as I thought I'd be..simply because I had conceded this early in the day when my 5 players couldn't outscore Delanie Walker by himself. So I laughed and chuckled and said yup..typical me luck..and moved on and focused on the Cowboys game and actually...ENJOYED IT. A great game with a great outcome. That's what I look forward to the rest of this season and in the future. Rooting for MY REAL TEAM to win. Not this stupid bullshit fantasy crap. So with 10 teams still in contention..and everything being so unpredictable, at least the last season of the Wane McGarity Bowl will be one of the most interesting seasons of them all. Here's this weeks results.

Shock The Monkey (4-6)                   103.44
Bigger Balls (6-4)                                94.08

The score is closer than it looks because Mark didn't pay attention that Dion Lewis would be ruled inactive so he took a zero there. That might not have cost him the week, but when everyone is neck and neck in records for a playoff spots, you need to score as many points as possible. Anyways, Mark's on a little winning streak now and his team has been gaining momentum every week. This was a pretty big win against Mayra's team who were looking unbeatable the past three weeks. Mark had the fast start with Flacco, but once again it was Demarco Murray leading the way with 166 total yards, a TD run and a TD PASS. Murray has been beyond awesome and has more than exceeded expectations this season. He had 28 points this week. Jamison Crowder scored a TD and Dez Bryant FINALLY had a Dez like game with over 100 and a score. Those performances would be enough to score the upset win over Mayra. Unfortunately the win came with a price as Alshon Jeffrey was busted for PED's and is now suspended for 4 games. This is a huge blow for Mark and his slim chances for a playoff spot just got slimmer. For Mayra, Matt Ryan was disappointing as was most of her team. If not for a ton of garbage time from Antonio Brown (he did major damage at the end of the 4th quarter and ended up with 154 yards and a score) this would've been a huge blowout. Just one of those off weeks but I'm not going to write off Mayra yet or anything. Good yet costly win for Mark and he'll take on Albert's team next week, while Mayra will be in prime bounce back mode as she takes on Drew.

Game MVP
DeMarco Murray (Shock The Monkey)
123 Rushing Yards, 1 Rushing TD, 2 receptions, 33 Receiving Yards, 10 yards Passing, 1 Passing TD, 28 Points
Green Bay Packers v Tennessee Titans : News Photo

THE SPOILER (5-5)                   100.84
BigBadBob (0-10)                         81.54

The bad luck is neverending as Dad breaks the record set by me for most losses with his 10th straight loss. By the way, a little foreshadowing...this is TOTALLY setting up for Dad to get his first win against me in Week 12...book it...I promise you this will happen as the universe's reminder that I must be humiliated any way possible. So this week's bad player swap? Lance Kendricks for Willie Snead. To be fair, Snead's been crap and the Denver D was "supposed" be good...well Snead had 2 TD's and Kendricks didn't even get a point. The only silver lining is Dad would've lost in a more heartbreaking way by only half a point had he stayed the course.Devante Adams had a big yardage game with 156 yards and Cam Newton FINALLY had a good QB game with 261 yards a Passing TD and a Rushing TD. For Drew, Allen Robinson has FINALLY woken up the past couple weeks. This is the kind of Allen Robinson Drew was hoping for all season. Robinson had 9 catches for 107 yards a TD and a 2 PT conversion. His best game of the season. Kyle Rudolph had 5 catches for 69 and a score. Drew's a guy of second chances and this was the C.J. Prosise Drew expected last week. He had 153 total yards and no doubt is the top back now in Seattle. Other than that though, his team didn't do much. I still don't think he'll end up running the table, but he's definitely going to be a tough out. He takes on Mayra next week, while Dad's quest for win #1 goes through Alex next week.

Game MVP
Allen Robinson (THE SPOILER)
9 catches, 107 Receiving Yards, 1 Receiving TD, 23.2 Points
Jacksonville Jaguars v Kansas City Chiefs : News Photo

SCLSU MudDogs (5-5)             120.62
Bay Area Tanners (3-7)             93.28

And here it is...my last relevant matchup in fantasy football and I go down with the usual bullshit circumstances that plague me year in and year out. I told you it was Alex's turn to have a "good week"..of course it is. So in a must win week my entire team has the worst possible matchups you can think of (literally, pretty much every guy on my team had no chance of doing anything this week) so I had to be gutsy and play guys with better matchups like JJ Nelson (had been on a roll the past couple games before their bye and was promoted to the #2 receiver and playing a SHITTY ASS 49ERS defense) and Dontrelle Inman (no Travis Benjamin plus excellent matchup against Miami's SHITTY defense) and of course...just of course...it didn't work out. Now neither did Brandon Marshall and Todd Gurley, they sucked on par for course too, but yup JJ Nelson did NOTHING and didn't even put up 2 points, and Dontrelle Inman didn't even put 8 points. Mike Evans was non existent, Brandin Cooks was great...but he's tied to Drew Brees so it cancels out (plus Drew Brees STILL PUT UP 25 POINTS against the Broncos...LOL). Spencer Ware sucked because he had a shitty matchup against the Panthers..my TE C.J. Isuckowitz sucked but it was hilarious because both backup tight ends scored for Houston..but not CJ! HAHAHAHAHAHAH...it's just funny how fucking SHITTY my luck is. It's hilarious how everything has to suck hardcore for me in all walks of my life..no matter what it is. I love it. I always wonder what can happen next? And usually whether it's fantasy football or something else....something shitty usually does happen! Anyways, to be even MORE mean..LaGarrette Blount goes off and has a bad ass game but it's only to make the ass whooping look a little better. For Alex...predictably his team went off after scoring 72 points last week (of course it did yada yada yada..against me yadayadayda..my luck sucks yadayadayada). For a good portion of the afternoon, Delanie Walker was beating all 5 of my early afternoon plays on his own. He had 9 for 124 yards and a score. Le'veon Bell hadn't scored a TD..until he played me of course than he scored not once but twice and finished with nearly 30 points. Larry Fitzgerald has 12 catches for 133 yards (LMAO) and that's it. Season over. Fantasy Football over. Like I said....I'm going to go out like a loser because that's the only fitting way I could go out...not as a playoff team..not as a champion..nope as a loser..because that's exactly what I am. Once upon a time I really enjoyed this game...but that shit was a long time ago. The fun is over and I'll be happy to never play this piece of shit game ever again. So maybe I can play "spoiler" the next three weeks (yeah fucking right..I'll end up on a 4 game losing streak to make it EVEN MORE FITTING) and I play Mike next, while Alex takes on Dad and gets another easy win.

Game MVP
Le'Veon Bell (SCLSU MudDogs)
57 Rushing Yards, 1 Rushing TD, 9 Receptions, 77 Receiving Yards, 1 Receiving TD, 29.9 Points
Dallas Cowboys v Pittsburgh Steelers : News Photo 

Hoosier Daddy (9-1)               137.62
No Soup For You (4-6)             89.04

Not only am I full of bad luck...but my bad luck infects others in the league (that's why yall shouldn't wanna be in this league anymore! I'm INFECTIOUS!). All year, I've been advocating Leland and his "Dream Team" and thought he would not only walk in to the finals but honestly wondering how many games he would actually lose on his way to back to back titles. I thought the Gurley/David Johnson combo was game over for everyone and the solid way he built the rest of his team made him seem damn near unbeatable on paper. It just hasn't really panned out and now we are in serious danger mode as there is more than a solid chance Leland misses out on the playoffs COMPLETELY. The Champions Curse MIGHT INDEED CONTINUE as since Leland won his first title in Year 3, no champion has ever made the playoffs the following year. Leland, Me, Matt, and possibly Leland again might be on the outside looking in. How STUPID does that sound. Typically in REAL sports, unless you have some rare drastic overhaul after a title (think Bulls post MJ, Marlins after their World Series wins) teams that win a championship at the very LEAST make the playoffs the next year. Nope...not in fantasy football! Because it's fucking dumb. Leland's trade for Philip Rivers and Christine Michael looks like it's going to be a huge loss on Leland's side because he gave up a WR2 in Demaryius Thomas for a 1 week rental in Philip Rivers and a guy who no longer starts in Christine Michael, a guy Leland might legit never use now that C.J. Prosise is the lead back. Rivers still put up 22 points this week but damn..he threw 4 PICKS IN THE 4TH QUARTER ALONE. So Leland lost 6 points on interceptions. Even though he might have felt like he gave up too much for A.J. Green, I don't think he did. Look, I already benched Gurley! He SUCKS or his line sucks or a combination of the two but it's pretty obvious this guy is barely flex worthy at this point. He wouldn't have helped Leland out one bit and Leland would still have a serious lack of depth outside of David Johnson at the RB position. With all the trades, Leland still has a solid team, but it's not as invincible as it once looked. David Johnson continued to do his best to carry the load as he had 101 total yards and 2 TD's (the funny thing, people's expectations were sooooo high this week on David Johnson, that for a lot this was actually a DISAPPOINTING EFFORT). A.J. Green did his thing with 7 catches for 68 yards and a score. No one else on Leland's team besides Johnson, Green and Rivers had more than 8.5 points. Crazy. For Ryan...what a great trade getting Demaryius who IMMEDIATELY paid off with 8 receptions for 87 and a score. Look Demaryius Thomas isn't going to be that super elite WR1 anymore, but he's still very solid and he's exactly what Ryan needed to make his team even more well rounded. That move FINALLY got me to believe that Ryan's team could very well win this year's championship. Zeke...good god what more can you say? I'm sure in hindsight Matt is wishing he could take that Gronk #1 pick back..hell Posey too, but I don't think anyone thought Zeke was going to be THIS DOMINANT. He put nearly 40 points and I'd have to research but for a RB that might be the most points in this season. 209 total yards, 3 TD's...including two game changing TD's. Guy is clutch in real life and in fantasy. Big Ben did his thing with over 400 yards passing and 3 scores, Kenny Britt continues to be a VERY servicable WR3 with 7 catches for 109 and that was with Greg Olsen doing nothing of note! This team is solid all around and with Michael Crabtree coming back next week, it's just going to get that much better. Also, this basically locks up at the very least the 2nd bye for Ryan unless he totally implodes and Mike and Mayra win out. Ryan's drafting, pickups, and trades have been nothing short of great and he's winning the right way...not lucky..just making damn good roster decisions. It's time for that Week 11 showdown with Eugene next week which could be a possible preview of the Finals. For Leland...he's officially in endangered species mode. He cannot lose again and must run the table. It won't be easy with Matt next on the schedule. Should be very interesting.

Game MVP
Ezekiel Elliott (Hoosier Daddy)
114 Rushing Yards, 2 Rushing TD's, 95 Receiving Yards, 1 Receiving TD, 39.90 Points
Dallas Cowboys v Pittsburgh Steelers : News Photo 

Woe Is You (7-3)                     97.60
Light's Broken Bots (4-6)       92.44

Man...what a both HUGE win for Mike and HUGE loss for Matt in regards to playoff race. Mike has basically punched in his playoff ticket as he has separated himself from the rest 5-5, 4-6 teams and is now even in legit conversation for the bye. Unbelievable. He loses all his star players and he just keeps winning. It helps that he leads the league in Points Against. So basically this looked like Matt had this in the bag as he was up going into Sunday night and it was going to come down to Tom Brady/Gronk vs Eli Manning/Beckham. So because football is the stupidest sport ever...OF COURSE the Brady/Gronk combo get ANNHILATED by fucking Worm Head Eli and Beckham. See why I totally can't stand this shit? I DRAFTED ELI AND HE SUCKED BEYOND BELIEF WITH LIKE 2 TD'S IN 5 GAMES...I drop him...and now multiple TD's in 3 straight games. What A FUCKING JOKE. FUCK THIS GAME. So yeah...Brady comes up as small as small can be with 0 TD passes and Eli throws 3 TD's again because now he's JOE FUCKING MONTANA when he's off my team and Beckham gets 10 for 97 and a score and now Matt's basically 1 loss away from being eliminated from playoff consideration. Mike doesn't even put up that many points, and he still pulls off wins. Stefon Diggs has reemerged the past couple of weeks as he had 13 catches for 164 yards. Antonio Gates had a TD and that was basically enough to win the week as no one else did anything of note. For Matt, you can't do it, but this is a problem when you have two top tier QB's on your roster. Those 29 points from Russell Wilson sure would've looked good in his lineup instead of his bench but of course to be fair...NO ONE is benching Brady for Wilson no matter what. Brady just had an off game at the WRONG time and took Gronk down with him. Worse news? Gronk suffered an injury to his lungs (some say punctured, some don't) and there's a possibility he misses at least one game. Matt really can't afford that especially when he has a do or die match against Leland next week. Only two guys decided to show up for Matt. Jordy Nelson, who had 126 yards and a TD and Tyrell Williams who had 125 and a TD. No one else besides Brady getting barely 11 scored double digits. Matt's weakness continues to be RB play and it's hard to count on lucky goal line TD's from Matt Asiata. So Mike gets the luck of the draw and gets to play me next which will definitely be a win. The matchup between Matt and Leland probably becomes the most important of the week as the loser of that matchup will pretty much be finished for the season.

Game MVP
Eli Manning/Odell Beckham Jr (Woe Is You)
(Eli) 240 Passing Yards, 3 Passing TD's, 2 INT's, 22 Points
(Beckham) 10 Receptions, 97 Receiving Yards, 1 Receiving TD, 20.70 Points (Game Clinching Performances)
Philadelphia Eagles v New York Giants : News Photo 

Rocket Man (8-2)                    109.84
Channel 4 News Team (5-5)    88.18

With all the chaos revolving around Ryan kicking ass, Leland freefalling, and the glut of teams with 5-5 and 4-6 records, Eugene is just quietly kicking ass and beating everyone in sight and this week was no different. This matchup was never in doubt as byes decimated Albert's squad and he really never had a chance here. Eugene got another 30 point Aaron Rodgers game and because this game is beyond transparently dumb...real life success has nothing to do with fantasy success. Nobody in fantasy land thinks Aaron Rodgers is struggling whatsoever when he's put up 26 points or more for 4 straight weeks in a row. Julio Jones had 10 catches for 135 yards. Melvin Gordon had 132 total yards, and Devante Parker actually showed up with 5 catches for 103 yards. Rishard Matthews actually has been pretty good the last couple weeks with 63 and a score. Can you imagine if DeAndre Hopkins EVER blew up? What a waste of talent. It's not his fault that he has terrible stats, his QB is BEYOND AWFUL. For Albert, let's just say he spot started Jay Cutler. The only one worth talking about is Doug Baldwin who scored 3 TD's. Doug Martin did come back, looked TERRIBLE, but did manage a TD. I think Albert's going to be fine. He gets McCoy, Luck, and Hilton back which is a ton of firepower and I still think he gets in the playoffs. Eugene takes on Ryan in the most anticipated #1 vs #2 matchup while Albert's going to look to bounce back and play Mark's recently rejuvenated team. 

Game MVP
Aaron Rodgers (Rocket Man)
371 Passing Yards, 2 Passing TD's, 2 INT's, 27 Rushing Yards, 1 Rushing TD, 30.54 Points
Green Bay Packers v Tennessee Titans : News Photo
  
 

 



No comments:

Post a Comment