Monday, October 31, 2016

Week 8 Results: The End Of An Era

Washington Redskins v Cincinnati Bengals : News Photo 
So this week title works on two levels.'s the end of an era in regards to undefeated teams. Ryan's streak will stop at 7 as he just got absolutely demolished by Posey's team (you know, the one that lost to Drew's shitty team last week?). This season is the most inconsistent I can remember. There's no way to tell what teams are good or not. Everyone (with the exception of me and Dad of course) just beats up on each other. When they're supposed to win, they lose, when they're supposed to lose they win. So yeah, Ryan's still on top at 7-1, but he now shares the best record with Eugene, and only has a two game lead in front of a couple of teams for that bye spot. The 2nd reason for this title is it will truly be an end of an era as I have 100% decided that I will no longer be playing fantasy football. I think yall know how I feel about this game by all the whining I do on this blog and I'm sorry your commish is a sore loser who can't handle the bullshit and losing this stupid game brings, but I honestly just can't do it anymore. This week was the tipping point. No offense to Mark (it's not his fault, its his guys that have sucked repeatedly this year..until THIS WEEK of course) but there's just no way I should've lost to him this week. It's beyond unbelievable and absurd, yet almost every week this is what happens to me. I lose...and I lose...A LOT...and by...A LOT. Since 2013 I'm 14-24...10 games below the past 12 weeks..I've lost 10 times...10...I'm 2-10 in the past 12 weeks. It sucks beyond belief. Including in those losses are a less than half a point loss for 3rd place, a 118 point loss, a Andrew Luck to TY Hilton loss, and now this a loss to a terrible on paper team. I'm tired of it. I don't and won't do this anymore. I can describe Fantasy Football with a lot of will never be one of them. This game is not about any kind of skill and yet here I am...putting literally hours and hours into it. It's not healthy and ultimately it's for absolutely nothing. Also this year...I lead in points against...and it's not EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE...there's NO ONE EVEN CLOSE TO BEING NEAR ME. So that means I basically go into every week knowing I don't have a shot in hell to win because "something" will always happen. That's not fun. But that's the nature of the beast of this game..a game full of injuries and running back by committees and underperformers and overachievers and it's never going to change. There will always be Hall of Fame players getting outscored by the Jamison Crowders of the league and it's not fair because it's purely just 1000000000% luck. I'm burnt out...frustrated..and I know people don't believe me, they think "oh if you win a couple, you'll get sucked back in" but I've never been more serious. I can't enjoy the Cowboys. I'd be lying if I said I've enjoyed one single second of their run..because I haven't. Hell, if I still had a snowballs chance in hell at winning I would've had to root AGAINST DEZ BRYANT because I'm playing against him! That's sooooo stupid that you have to root against YOUR OWN FUCKING TEAM. I don't wanna do that anymore. I wanna watch the games without any fucking stress...without being mad...sad...depressed..feeling stupid..and having my weeks ruined because of it. So again, this isn't a joke, this isn't being dramatic, this is the truth. There is a zero percent chance I'm playing next year. I'm standing by that and not budging. The league can survive without me, hell, it'd probably be a hell of lot more fun without me and my negative crap lol. I hope yall decide to keep the league alive, but that decision will be up to you guys and it's something we can discuss after the season is over. On that depressing, somber note..onto the results.

Rocket Man (7-1)              117.64
BigBadBob (0-8)                 87.78 

Eugene gets a huge bounce back win as Dad's season is officially 100% over now. What a shitty way to go out (spoiler alert, Dad's not coming back either). Dad tried to better his team with that two for 1 Olsen for Freeman/Henry trade, but Henry looks like a bust and though Freeman got 2 TD's, he did little yardage wise and just another overall disappointing effort from Dad's team as a whole. For Eugene, Julio was bothered by an ankle injury, and DeAndre Hopkins continues to get fucked over by his shitty QB, but it wouldn't matter as Aaron Rodgers had one of those Aaron Rodgers type games with 4 TD's (and 60 yards rushing and a 2 PT conversion to boot)  for nearly 39 points. With Green Bay having no real running back, Rodgers is going to have a field day throwing it all the time. Melvin Gordon continues to defy odds with 155 total yards. It's one of the first games where he had a great scoring day without scoring a TD. Even Duke fucking Johnson had a good game with nearly 15 points. Travis Kelce was FINALLY involved in the passing game as well with 7 catches for 101 yards and a score. All in all nice response from last week's loss to me. Eugene takes on Mayra next week, while Dad will try to do something my sorry ass team couldn't do. Beat Jamison Crowder and Mark.

Game MVP
Aaron Rodgers (Rocket Man)
246 Passing Yards, 4 Passing TD's, 1 2 PT Conversion, 60 rushing yards, 37.84 Points
Green Bay Packers v Atlanta Falcons : News Photo 

Bigger Balls (5-3)             128.52
No Soup For You (4-4)      79.80

Just when I think Leland's back on track, his team can't even put up 80 points this week and he loses to a team I had thought was on a downward trend in Mayra. This wasn't even close as Mayra basically led the whole way. She did this without Antonio Brown playing as well. Amari Cooper had the game of his season with 12 receptions for 173 yards and a TD. She even survived DeSean Jackson getting hurt and doing nothing of note. Matt Ryan put up nearly 300 yards and  3 scores and Matt Forte's rebirth continues with another 98 yard, 2 TD performance. Lamar Miller didn't do much but did score as did Gio Bernard and Jason Witten (more importantly a GAME WINNING TD FOR THE COWBOYS!). For Leland, it's been a perplexing season so far. Some games he looks unstoppable and like there's no way any team in the league can beat him, but when he loses his guys tend to underachieve big time. C.J. Fiedorowicz was ok with a TD, Brandin Cooks was lucky to get a TD, and Demaryius Thomas barely had 10 points. David Johnson had one of his worst games of the season (though he still had 7 receptions for 84 yards and 106 total yards), Matt Stafford did as well and overall it was just a bad team performance. Now even though Leland is in a cluster with a bunch of teams, overall his points scored are going to be a key factor in helping him secure a playoff birth. Mayra's gotta keep the momentum going against Eugene next week, while Leland will take on Albert's struggling team next. 

Game MVP
Amari Cooper (Bigger Balls) 
12 Receptions, 173 Receiving Yards, 1 Receiving TD, 29.30 Points
Oakland Raiders v Tampa Bay Buccaneers : News Photo 

Shock The Monkey (2-6)          124.82
Bay Area Tanners (2-6)            98.60

The straw that finally broke this camel's back. This game was the most prime ultimate example of why I don't wanna play this glorified guessing game anymore. If I wanna play something that revolves purely on luck...I'll take up Lotto tickets. So naturally Mark has his best game of the season against me (after 4 straight terrible scoring performances) and WR 4's Jamison Crowder and Quincy Enunwa score nearly 39 points (of course they do, everyone saw that coming), Dez returns and gets nearly 20 points (naturally just like when Matt's 1st game with Brady was against me, Mark gets Dez back just in time for my seriously can't write the bullshit luck I've had in this league if you tried) Alshon Jeffrey gets Jay Cutler back this week (OF FUCKING COURSE HE DOES) and scores get this HIS FIRST TD OF THE MOTHERFUCKING SEASON (OF COURSE HE DOES..IT'S AGAINST ME) Tyrod performs decently, and Murray did enough damage Thursday while my team craps the bed, including Jameis Winston and Mike Evans who with even an extra overtime period couldn't take advantage of the best matchup you could ask for...the Raiders secondary, nope...Winston's nearly 21 points aren't impressive if you saw the game. Shitty passes, a bunch of overthrows, and somehow the Raiders EVEN LOST A STARTING CORNER, and he couldn't get the ball to Mike Evans. Ridiculous and pathetic. Oh and to throw more salt on the wound? Spencer Ware suffers a concussion. Sure Maclin, Brate, and Blount all scored, but they had minimal yardage. I was, I believe over a 20 point favorite and I know projections don't mean dick, but still, that shows that I do have the superior team....yet it all conspires to suck and in return Mark has the game of his season (again let me repeat...I lead the league in Points Against by a WIDE FUCKING ASS MARGIN) and saves his season, and basically puts mine in the ground. Not only would I have to run the table now for a small shot at a chance, but I have a feeling because so many teams are bunched together that this will be the first time in league history that a 7-6 team WOULDN'T make the playoffs, which would honestly be a fitting end to my fantasy football career. Why not run the table go 7-6 and miss the playoffs because of points. I kinda hope it happens so it  can once again reaffirm my absolutely whole hearted hatred of this fucking awful game. But let's be real...I'll lose to Drew next week and it won't matter. I even made one last ditch trade to salvage my season...because I'm going down fighting till the end. I traded A.J. Green (because him and Blount are on bye, I'm fucked so I had to make a move) to Leland for Todd Gurley and Brandin Cooks. Mark actually has a shot at win #3 against Dad next week. Fuck this game soooooooo fucking much...can't wait till this garbage is over.

Game MVP
Jamison Crowder (Shock The Monkey) (No really...and that's why this game is a fucking JOKE)
9 Receptions, 107 Receiving Yards, 1 Receiving TD, 1 Fantasy Football Career Ended, 21.20 Points
Washington Redskins v Cincinnati Bengals : News Photo 
(hey look its Jamison dancing all over my Fantasy Football Career!)

Woe Is You (5-3)                 137.02
Hoosier Daddy (7-1)             72.58

Well...the streak had to come to an end one week but man...this wasn't a pretty way to end it. Ryan's managed to escape some hairy weeks in the past but it finally caught up to him as Posey, even with losing CJ Anderson just beats the crap out of Ryan's team (I love it....Posey has 3 of his MAIN GUYS...his MAIN FUCKING IR in Eric Decker, Keenan Allen and C.J. Anderson plus lost JACQUIZZ RODGERS TO INJURY TOO!, yet there he is can say luck is luck and not controlled, but c'mon that kind of shit in the 7 years we've done this league has NEVER happened to me...I never get the breaks these teams get..whether it be Eugene last year drafting a bad team on paper and it panning out and him winning 3rd, Mark and Leland both starting 0-3 and STILL making the finals or both Drew and Mike getting DECIMATED by injuries and still trucking on and winning..that shit gets to me too..because it literally NEVER works out that way FOR ME). Derek Carr had the game of his fantasy life with 513 yards and 4 TD's for nearly 40 points. So much for that "difficult" matchup for Jonathan Stewart. He had 95 and 2 scores while Jordan Reed came back and had 9 catches for 99 and a score. Thanks to them and solid games from Terrelle Pryor and Jacquizz Rodgers (before he got hurt) and Stefon Diggs put the final nail in the coffin after weeks of mediocrity with 76 and a score. Mike was even able to play a 0 pt play in Michael Floyd and STILL win (yup...I'd never get away with that either, in fact I did play a 0 pt play...Sammie Coates a couple weeks ago...and got murdered that week...LOL). For Ryan, Mark Ingram's game basically sums up Ryan's week, 5 rushing yards and a fumble for -1.5 points. He was promptly benched the rest of the game. Greg Olsen didn't make much of a debut for Ryan...he only caught a ball for 11 yards. Philip Rivers was mediocre, Crabtree, John Brown, and Christine Michael were OKish and Zeke did will considering he didn't score a TD but still finished with nearly 17 points, but when you get 1.2 points COMBINED from 3 guys (Lafell, Olsen, Ingram) you'll need extraordinary performances from the rest of your squad to make that up and it just didn't happen. So is this cause for concern? Maybe...or maybe not...who seriously knows this year? This team had always worried me from the get go yet managed to win 7 straight weeks. I still worry about those receivers and now Ingram too as he's been pretty disappointing all season. Also Thomas Rawls lurks and who knows if he'll end up taking Christine Michael's place. There is good news though, Big Ben is supposed to return next week and that'll provide a huge boost to Ryan's scoring. He also couldn't ask for a better matchup as he plays Matt but will avoid the Brady/Gronk combo as both are on byes along with the problems he's having with Jamaal Charles. For Mike, very impressive showing, all things considered. I can't guess anymore on how he'll do, but he takes on Alex next week.

Game MVP
Derek Carr (Woe Is You)
513 Passing Yards, 4 Passing TD's, 39.82 Points
Oakland Raiders v Tampa Bay Buccaneers : News Photo

Light's Broken Bots (4-4)          122
Channel 4 News Team (4-4)      117.10

Well...this actually got way closer than it should've been as after a couple of horrible games where Kadeem Carey was actually outplaying him, Jordan Howard had an AMAZING first half where he had already accumulated over 22 points. Now Matt still has Matt Asiata going, but there was a legit shot Albert would end up pulling off the improbable upset. Unfortunately Howard slowed down considerably and would only score about 6 more points, but at least Howard showed a pulse. Albert's going to need him for his playoff run. Albert actually didn't play bad at all putting up 117 points. Tyler Eifert finally showed he was back with 9 receptions for 102 and a score. Unlike last week's giant mess, Mike Gillislee was the main back with McCoy out and he had 85 and a score..hell Jordan Matthews had 65 and a score too. Andrew Luck put up nearly 21 points, but it was T.Y. Hilton who came up as small as can be. Hilton was bothered by a hamstring injury but still played most of the game but was invisible. He was held to 1 catch for 20 yards. Basically a game killer as Hilton's capable of so much more. For's all about Brady/Gronk. Such a dangerous combo to have and even though Matt looks to have a lost cause in Jamaal Charles, it's not seeming to effect him one bit (nope of course it doesn't because if it's not me..why would it? Everyone else gets to have fun and win regardless of what shit players they have to play to survive..but me? yeah fucking right...because guess what...none of these injuries affect any team in this fucking league..not the least...they all still win regardless...except me of course...who hasn't suffered really any major injury but my team just absolutely sucks ass....did I mention FUCK THIS GAME ALREADY? Well FUCK THIS GAME just in case).  Brady and Gronk combined for 53.5 points. Remember Matt already got a great game thanks to garbage time from Allen Hurns. Jordy Nelson rebounded from last week's brutal game and he had 94 and a score. Jeremy Hill added a TD too. So Matt and Albert are 4-4 just like most of the league so who the fuck knows who's going to win what next week. Matt plays Ryan next week (without Brady, Gronk, and Jeremy Hill but who cares..he'll survive somehow and either win or be competitive) while Albert's now 0-2 since the McCoy trade and faces Leland next.

Game MVP
Tom Brady (Light's Broken Bots)
315 Passing Yards, 4 Passing TD's, 15 Rushing Yards, 34.10 Points
New England Patriots v Buffalo Bills : News Photo 

SCLSU MudDogs (4-4)         110.10
THE SPOILER (4-4)              84.72

I FINALLY give in and pick Drew to win because it makes the most sense...but I stupidly forgot that common sense means nothing in Fantasy Football so in a weird full circle type shit..Drew, who's team sucks on paper but kept winning, finally loses what looked like a winnable matchup against Alex this week, but because Drew's team finally got the suckiness transferred from paper to the field and lost. Whatever...there's no explaining shit anymore. Drew shouldn't worry anyways..he'll have his highest scoring week against me anyways and beat me by 50 and have a ridiculous 5 wins. So Kirk Cousins was great for Drew with over 450 yards passing and a couple TD passes, but not too much more happened here. Both Donte Moncrief and Devontae Booker scored TD's but didn't have much yardage wise and everyone else was mediocre. For Alex, he alternates from being dominant one week to being underperforming the next (just like most of the league, which is why everyone who's relevant is 4-4 at least) and this was the dominant week. He FINALLY got a TD from Julian Edelman, Drew Brees was his usual self, Fitzgerald had 10 catches for 74 yards, Travis Benjamin scores, Theo Riddick is still a thing, which is so fucking dumb, but whatever..on the list of absurd things about this stupid ass shitbagfuck game..Theo Riddick consistently scoring 20+ points a week is like #1,259 on the list. He had 133 total yards and a TD. Hey...I remember Bilal Powell! He sucked big fat Matt Forte dick when I had him! Oh, but he went to another team and had his best game of the season with 76 yards and a score? Why....I'M UTTERLY SHOCKED THAT A GUY WOULD BE PURE GARBAGE ON MY TEAM BUT BE GREAT FOR SOMEONE ELSE. YAYYYYYY!! So Drew gets the lucky Puente combo that he'll totally 100% beat the shit out of the next two weeks (remember reverse jinxes don't work on sirreeee..they HAPPEN), while Alex plays Mike (you know the team that lost to Drew last week but scored 137 points this week to end Ryan's 7 game winning streak...once again...FULLLLLLLL CIRCLE!!)

Game MVP
Theo "I'm a very mediocre real life running back, who's not really a running back because I never actually get carries, I'm what they call in the fantasy football circles a "pass catching back" which hides my inability to actually do my intended running back job and RUN THE FUCKING BALL, but since I typically average 1.9 yards per carry...I get bailed out because the Lions are allergic to running anyways so I benefit from being a shitty running back on a pass happy team" Riddick (SCLSU MudDogs)
56 Rushing Yards, 8 Receptions, 77 Receiving Yards, 1 Receiving TD, 23.3 Points
Detroit Lions v Houston Texans : News Photo 
Thought I'd be a dick and choose a pic of Theo Riddick "running"

Just 5 more weeks of this bullshit
Just 5 more weeks of this bullshit
Just 5 more weeks of this bullshit




Friday, October 28, 2016

Thursday Night Overview/Week 7 Awards

Jacksonville Jaguars v Tennessee Titans : News Photo 
The Thursday Night Game was your typical awful played game, but the way it played out reminded me another reason why I think Fantasy Football is just so fucking ridiculous and absurd. "Garbage Time". I get it, there's nothing you can do about it, it is what it is, and stats are stats regardless if they came in the 1st quarter or 4th quarter, but it really burns me up that there are teams out there that got rewarded for starting Blake Bortles who looked like the shittiest QB to ever play the game in the history of the league. Now luckily in our league, Mark benched him, because well, BORTLES SUCKS and boy did he suck in a grand fashion last night. Because the Jags were getting blown the fuck out and the Titans just stopped caring, especially in the 4th quarter, Bortles got the most bullshit garbage points imaginable and ended up with 33 points....33 POINTS!! His 350 yards and 3 scores LOOK like a hell out a game, but it was the exact total opposite. It's just so wrong to me for a guy who should've been BENCHED at half, got to pad his stats for a whole half because he himself SUCKED and now gets to take advantage of a lax Titans Defense. Unreal, but typical with this dumbass shitty game. Anyways, Mark DID play  Demarco Murray and I know, you might be expecting me to be pissed about being in a hole again but honestly you know what I think about Murray going over 120 and scoring a TD to get nearly 20 points? THANKFUL....thankful because it could've been WORSE....SO MUCH WORSE...with the game in hand Murray didn't do toooo much after halftime and sat out the 4th altogether. Considering he was getting whatever the fuck he wanted out there, I was expected for sure 150-170 yards and possibly another score, so when he left the game after the 3rd, I was relieved. I'll take being down 19.3 points. For Matt, Allen Hurns benefited from garbage time and ended up with over 90 and a score. Unfortunately for Drew, his guys, Allen Robinson and Marqise Lee didn't do much in garbage time. Man has Allen Robinson fallen off. Bortles is a huge reason why, but Robinson isn't exactly helping matters. He still managed 6 catches for 70 yards, but still that's not even the kind of production you want from a normal 6th round pick much less a guy who was going in the 2nd round who you got to keep in the 6th. Luckily for Drew, Alex didn't get much from Delanie Walker as he only had 4 for 75, so this matchup is still winnable only because of Alex's decimated lineup this week. Eugene should be pleased with his Rishard Matthews play, he scored a TD which helped him almost double his projected points. That's exactly the production he needs from his complimentary guys. Onto the Week 7 Awards.

Wane McGarity Stud Of The Week
A.J. Green (Bay Area Tanners)
Cleveland Browns v Cincinnati Bengals : News Photo 
Have to go with the guy who I traded for and helped extend my hope for at least one more week. Green was amazing, with a hell of a hail mary TD catch, and this one handed catch shown above. His nearly 27 points helped me knock off Eugene and his undefeated squad.

Michael Wiley Dud Of The Week
Jordy Nelson (Light's Broken Bots)
Chicago Bears v Green Bay Packers : News Photo 
Jamaal Charles and LeSean McCoy were more injury related for their terrible games but for Aaron Rodgers to complete 39 passes (39!) and only 1 of those was to Jordy Nelson is absurd and insane. TD's are the only thing saving Nelson from being a complete bust, but Matt can't afford for these kind of Jordy Nelson games to be a constant thing. For Matt's sake, hopefully he'll be more involved in the offense starting this week.

Drew Bennett Sneaky Surprise Award
Marqise Lee (THE SPOILER)
Oakland Raiders v Jacksonville Jaguars : News Photo 
Honorable mention goes to Jack Doyle as Ryan's bye week replacement, but he had a little bit of hype going into the week, while Lee was a total crapshoot play by Drew that managed to work out in a tightly contested game. Lee's 14 points were huge in getting Drew his 4th win of the season.

Jay Cutler Bad Decision Award
Albert makes "The McCoy Trade"
Buffalo Bills v Miami Dolphins : News Photo 
This is in hindsight of course and it's a prime example of how being forward thinking can bite you in the ass. It made sense, Albert at 4-2, with a pretty mediocre running back group thought he could risk giving up one of his stud WR's to get back a guy who's a legit top 5 running back all season. The catch? McCoy hurt his hamstring last Wednesday, but because things seemed to fall into place, Matt dropped Mike Gillislee (McCoy's backup) that day to pick up Mike Davis and Albert owned the #1 waiver claim. It made too much sense. The Bills would rest McCoy for a week, and Albert would use Gillislee, and then McCoy would be back for the rest of the season and everything is good. On top of that he gained a WR3 with WR2 upside in Jordan Matthews and flipped a guy who's a game flow dependent running back in LaGarrette Blount. Well, things quickly went to shit when the Bills decided to basically force McCoy into action despite not being healthy. It in effect forced Albert to play both Gillislee and McCoy which turned into a nightmare. Not only that, predictably, McCoy aggravated his hamstring injury and Jordan Matthews was awful. The guys he traded to me? Combined for 53 points. Matthews and McCoy combined for like over 3 points total and now who knows when McCoy will be back. A perfect situation ruined because of Rex Ryan's foolishness. It might be the turning point in Albert's season and not in a good way.


Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Week 8 Matchups and Predictions

I can't believe we're already halfway through the season and already can basically punch one playoff ticket (Ryan) and eliminate one team (Dad). Time flies. So the two main stories, which are polar opposite of each other is Will Ryan stay undefeated and will Dad finally get win #1. Here's this weeks matchups.

Bay Area Tanners (2-5) vs
Shock The Monkey (1-6)

All Time Record
Mark Leads Series 3-1 (Mark beat me in the 2015 Wane McGarity Bowl Semi Finals)

Key Players

Bay Area Tanners: Mike Evans (Raiders) A.J. Green (Redskins) Spencer Ware (Colts) LaGarrette Blount (Bills)

Shock The Monkey: Dez Bryant (Eagles) DeMarco Murray (Jaguars) Latavius Murray (Bucs) Alshon Jeffrey (Vikings)

Wild Cards

Bay Area Tanners: QB Production. TE struggles. McKinnon injury. Maclin's struggles.

Shock The Monkey: Dez's return. QB Production. L. Murray fully back? Difficult matchup for Alshon Jeffrey

Yahoo Says: I win 114-94
I Say: I win. I feel my team is looking in the mirror when playing Mark this week. Both of us have struggled big time and we've both have some similar problems. I'm going to have faith this week and believe that my team SHOULD be able to pick up the win here. I think Yahoo's projection is off base, but I feel good about my chances although I'd feel a little better if Mark's team wasn't improving this week. Not only does he get Dez Bryant back finally, but Alshon Jeffrey gets Jay Cutler back (the matchup is still difficult, but Jeffrey would've been benchable had Matt Barkley been QB for this game) and Latavius Murray seemed to come back from injury and completely take back his backfield in Oakland. Mark's got the talent to win, they just for the most part (outside of DeMarco Murray) have underachieve. Last week, my team finally got it together, maybe this is the week Mark's guys do the same.

Rocket Man (6-1) vs
BigBadBob (0-7)

All Time Record
Dad Leads Series 3-1

Key Players

Rocket Man: Aaron Rodgers (Falcons) Julio Jones (Packers) DeAndre Hopkins (Lions) Melvin Gordon (Broncos)

BigBadBob: Cam Newton (Cardinals) Emmanuel Sanders (Chargers) Brandon Marshall (Browns) Frank Gore (Chiefs) Devonta Freeman (Packers)

Wild Cards

Rocket Man: Can Hopkins FINALLY take advantage of a good matchup? Complimentary players outside of Rodgers/Julio/Gordon

BigBadBob: Cam's difficult matchup. Hunter Henry concussion protocol.

Yahoo Says: Eugene wins 96-95
I Say: Eugene wins. Could this be a trap game? Eugene has pretty much rode 3 guys to his victories and it's worked so far thus the 6-1 record, but last week was a prime example of what can happen when the rest of your squad is just soooo inconsistent. The Chiefs passing game has been a super disappointment and that includes Travis Kelce. Tight End is a tough position to deal with as it is, but to start two tight end who both have great upside but low floors (like most tight ends) is pretty risky. Marty B can grab 80 for 2 scores....or he can grab 1 for 6 unpredictable to rely on. Now, playing Dad affords some of the plays, but if DeAndre Hopkins can't get it going in a good matchup, and guys like Duke Johnson and Rishard Matthews lay eggs, it might open this up for an upset. The problem is Dad's guys gotta perform too and his team has underperformed big time. Cam doesn't have a good matchup, Brandon Marshall does, but has been pretty mediocre this season, and Frank Gore is solid, but at this point of his career you aren't counting on blow up games from him. The big key will be Devonta Freeman, who has the backfield all to himself with the Tevin Coleman injury. Dad could end up surprising everyone, but I'm going to assume the usual group Eugene relies on goes off, plus he gets something from Bennett and Hopkins to get win #7.

No Soup For You (4-3) vs
Bigger Balls (4-3) 

All Time Record
Leland Leads Series 3-1

Key Players

No Soup For You: Matthew Stafford (Texans) Demaryius Thomas (Chargers) Marvin Jones (Texans) Randall Cobb (Falcons) David Johnson (Panthers) Brandin Cooks (Seahawks)

Bigger Balls: Matt Ryan (Packers) Amari Cooper (Bucs) Lamar Miller (Lions) Matt Forte (Browns)

Wild Cards

No Soup For You: Gurley on bye. Tough matchup for Brandin Cooks

Bigger Balls: Antonio Brown, Mike Wallace on Bye. Matt Forte slump over? Lamar Miller's injury.

Yahoo Says: Leland wins 104-98
I Say: Leland wins. You can almost look at Leland as the Golden State Warriors of this season. He had a slow start (2-3) but has gotten back in the thick of things and seems to be finding his groove. Granted his last two wins are against two teams who's combined record is 2-12, but still the points he put up those two weeks would've beaten most teams those two weeks. Mayra not having Antonio Brown (and to a lesser extent Mike Wallace) is going to hurt her chances as though Leland won't have Todd Gurley, he has enough depth to cover it. Giving the edge to Leland here.

Channel 4 News Team (4-3) vs
Light's Broken Bots (3-4)

All Time Record
Series is tied at 5-5-1 (Matt beat Albert in the semifinals of the 2016 Michael Wiley Loser Bowl)

Key Players

Channel 4 News Team: Andrew Luck (Chiefs) T.Y. Hilton (Chiefs) Doug Baldwin (Saints) LeSean McCoy* (Patriots)

Light's Broken Bots: Tom Brady (Bills) Jordy Nelson (Falcons) Kelvin Benjamin (Cardinals) Rob Gronkowski (Bills)

Wild Cards

Channel 4 News Team: McCoy going to play? RB struggles

Light's Broken Bots: Jordy Nelson Struggles. Difficult Matchup for Kelvin Benjamin

Yahoo Says: Albert wins 98-95
I Say: Matt wins. Right now Albert's team is full of disappointments (Baldwin, Matthews, Howard, Fuller) and injuries (McCoy) that although that Luck/Hilton combo has been super danagerous, I'd like to see how this all pans out before I can have confidence in this current incarnation of his team. Matt's got some problems of his own (Jamaal Charles being rendered useless, Jordy looking old etc.) but I think he's the more stable team of the two and I'll give the slight edge to Matt this week.

Hoosier Daddy (7-0) vs
Woe Is You (4-3)

All Time Record
Ryan Leads Series 3-2 (Last Played Week 6 of the 2013 Season)

Key Players

Hoosier Daddy: Philip Rivers (Broncos) Michael Crabtree (Bucs) Mark Ingram (Seahawks) Greg Olsen (Cardinals) Ezekiel Elliott (Eagles)

Woe Is You: Derek Carr (Bucs) C.J. Anderson (Chargers) Jacquizz Rodgers (Raiders) Jordan Reed* (Bengals) Jonathan Stewart (Cardinals)

Wild Cards

Hoosier Daddy: Difficult Rivers matchup. WR production outside of Crabtree. Mark Ingram Difficult matchup

Woe Is You: C.J. Anderson timeshare. Jordan Reed health. WR Production. Difficult Jonathan Stewart Matchup.

Yahoo Says: Mike wins 96-90
I Say: Ryan wins. This will be a tough matchup for Ryan, but I think he takes it and gets his 8th straight win. Both sets of receivers are very hit or miss. I just don't know about Cameron Meredith against the Vikings (even with Cutler back) and Stefon Diggs has been very bad since his Week 2 breakout. Terrelle Pryor is also inconsistent week to week, even though LaFell isn't great, I think he's safer to produce and Ryan has the better group of receivers for once. Also, who knows about this C.J. Anderson/Devonte Booker timeshare. It worked against Houston, but it sucks for Mike that Anderson is basically in a 50/50 split now, which limits his upside. All in All, I'll go with Ryan gutting out another close win.

THE SPOILER (4-3) vs
SCLSU MudDogs (3-4) 

All Time Record
Series is tied 1-1

Key Players

THE SPOILER: Allen Robinson (Titans) Kirk Cousins (Bengals) Devonte Booker (Chargers)

SCLSU MudDogs: Drew Brees (Seahawks) Julian Edelman (Bills) Larry Fitzgerald (Panthers) Delanie Walker (Jaguars)

Wild Cards

THE SPOILER: He's the MAD SCIENTIST...everything is a wild card here. This team is too unpredictable to chose anything as a wild card.

SCLSU MudDogs: No Bell, No Hyde, no RB Depth. Edelman's struggles. Difficult matchup for Brees. Difficult matchup for Travis Benjamin.

Yahoo Says: Drew wins 83-82
I Say: Drew wins. Ugh...this could be ugly big time and could end up being the lowest scoring matchup of the week. Alex's lack of depth is exposed big time this week as byes absolutely kill his week. Drew needs to seriously change his team name, because another win here and he's no longer playing the "spoiler" 5 wins he'd be a legit playoff contender which is insane to me. Everything seems to be going against Alex this week as even Brees has a tough matchup, and Julian Edelman is stuggling, hell even Theo Riddick isn't 100%. I can't believe Drew's managed to survive, but this should be a game in which he should indeed win.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Week 7 Results: And Then There Was One

Oakland Raiders v Jacksonville Jaguars : News Photo 
Well...after 6 weeks of two undefeated teams, we finally are down to one. Yes, with Eugene's loss, that leaves Ryan as the sole undefeated team in the league at 7-0. So there's some good news and bad news that goes with this accomplishment. Let's start with the good news. If you exclude year 1 (because there were only 8 teams that year) no team that has 7 wins has ever missed the playoffs. So basically Ryan's punched his ticket in the playoffs for the first time a couple years. Yes, that's not the big goal, but at the very least, even if for some reason Ryan's team implodes the rest of the way, he'll be in the playoffs where anything can happen. Of course Ryan's aiming for the bye, and with a 3 game lead over everyone, he's got a very solid chance at that. The bad news...historically speaking the last undefeated team left has never won the championship. The closest was Mayra, who won 14 straight weeks before losing the championship to Matt. Last year I was 7-0 before imploding and not even placing. Now we broke the "no 0-3 team has ever made the playoffs" last season, so Ryan's hoping to buck the trend this year. All in all though, it's a huge accomplishment and thanks to excellent roster moves...and a little bit of luck Ryan's finally on top of the mountain all by himself. There's still a ton of football to play though, so we'll see if he can maintain this hot start. Onto the results.

Bay Area Tanners (2-5)                121.84
Rocket Man (6-1)                         101.04

I know I know...."Are you happy now". I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little, but it's more relief than happiness. It's a big win against Eugene who was undefeated at the time and when I had Eli go in the early morning I was beyond infuriated that ONCE AGAIN my QB sucked and threw 0 TD's. You gotta understand how unbelievable it is to have your QB that you use throw 6 total TD passes in 7 WEEKS. That's beyond ridiculous and absurd and I can't stand that stat soooooo much. There's no excuse. I now have 3 games where my QB has thrown 0  TD's. 3 games!! It was 26.74-7.64 before Sunday afternoon. It once again looked like it was going to be another blowout. Let's be real though. There's only one singular reason I won. A very timely trade that netted me A.J. Green and LaGarratte Blount. Wednesday when it came out that McCoy had left practice with a hamstring injury, I panicked. I was 1-5 and there's no WAY I could afford to lose McCoy for even one game. Albert had asked me that day what I wanted for McCoy and after some back and forth he agreed to trade me Green and Blount for McCoy and Jordan Matthews (this is also doable because Albert had the #1 waiver priority so he was going to use Mike Gillislee for a week if McCoy were to miss). The injury wasn't thought to be too serious (well reports were everywhere regarding this mess...some reported he was fine he'd play, some reported he'd be out for weeks, some reported he'd just miss a week) so Albert was willing to do the trade to ensure having a top 5 RB (also Doug Martin's been out for him and suffered a setback so who knows when he's coming back). So the trade happened and it's the only reason I won. A.J. Green and Blount were both amazing. 8 receptions for 169 and a TD for Green (including an AMAZING hail mary catch for a TD at the end of 1st half) and Blount had 127 rushing yards and 2 scores. My new additions along with Mike Evans (hit a home run with this pick) who had 8 catches for 96 and 2 scores and Spencer Ware who had 131 total yards and a score help lead me to victory and thankfully mask the awfulness that is my QB position. That trade netted me a +49 this week. It was crucial. I'll talk about the opposite effect it had on Albert on his matchup. I'm still worried though...along with my QB problems, Jeremy Maclin has been really disappointing and I basically start him every week because my depth is so bad and I have no real tight end. My tight ends literally never give me more than 6-8 points a week. It's a win, but let's not kid ourselves, all it does it extend my season on life support for an extra week. A lot of stuff has to break my way for me to make the playoffs, but still...I just want to see a W every now and then for my sanity. For Eugene, it's a bigger win for me than loss for him. He still has a 2 game lead over everyone in regards to a bye. Outside of AMAZING  performances from Rodgers Thursday, Julio Jones (9 receptions for 174 yards) and Melvin Gordon (121 total yards and 3 scores) Eugene's team didn't show up at all. Nobody else got more than 6 points. The good news is DeAndre Hopkins schedule gets lighter but there's still a worry that Brock Osweiler sucks soooo hard that it severely caps Hopkins ceiling (one of the reasons I felt like I had to trade him). Tight ends are such a crapshoot this year that there's nothing you can do about Marty B and Kelce. Some weeks they'll produce...some they won't, just how it is. A lack of a true RB2 hurts, but hopefully Gordon can continue this run and Hopkins rebounds the 2nd half of the season and Eugene should bounce back and be ok. I know I said it last week, but hey, he gets my Dad next week, who's historically bad, to right the ship. I actually get a matchup thats winnable against Mark next week.

Game MVP
A.J. Green (Bay Area Tanners)
8 Receptions, 169 Receiving Yards, 1 Receiving TD, 26.90 Points
Cleveland Browns v Cincinnati Bengals : News Photo 

No Soup For You (4-3)             111.74
BigBadBob (0-7)                        85.52

Sigh...Dad's heading to a dubious all time record pace. He's now tied me for worst losing streak in league history and this is by far the worst start in league history. This loss all but writes off Dad's playoff chances this week, as he's guaranteed a losing season and the only way he could try to make it is by winning 6 weeks in a row and also scoring a ton of points. I don't think Dad has the team that can score a ton of points though. It's just been one of those seasons where nothing can go right. Andy Dalton was good and he got double digit performances from Emmanuel Sanders, Willie Snead, Frank Gore, and Devonta Freeman, but outside of Dalton none of the performances were 20 points or more and Hunter Henry and Mohamad Sanu were dreadful with barely 2 points a piece. Brandon Marshall was also disappointing with 5.4 points. For Leland, it's like I said, me and Dad were just the medicine he needed for his slow start. He's easily won the last two weeks and people have to remember that the team he has is pretty good. David Johnson was great again in a boring game he STILL puts up 21 points. Pretty much a solid team effort as although only Randall Cobb and Johnson scored over 20 points, all but Zach Ertz had 10 points or more. It's not going to get any easier for Dad as he faces Eugene next week. For Leland, he's 4-3 with a ton of other teams and now faces Mayra next week.

Game MVP
Randall Cobb (No Soup For You)
11 Receptions, 95 Receiving Yards, 1 Receiving TD, 21 Rushing Yards, 23.10 Points
Chicago Bears v Green Bay Packers : News Photo 

Bigger Balls (4-3)                  112.82
Light's Broken Bots (3-4)       86.38

This season has been so inconsistent because when you think one team is starting to heat up..they suffer a bad loss. It's basically league wide. Mayra started 3-0...struggled and lost 3 straight and came back and won pretty dominantly against Matt to regain some ground in the league. Matt Forte was written off after 4 straight awful games, but he showed up BIG TIME this week with 155 total yards and 2 TD's. I don't know if this was an aberration or if the last 4 weeks were just a slump, but once again it seems like Matt Forte has a hold of this backfield. We'll see if he can keep it going. Gio Bernard added 80 and a score, Mike Wallace had 10 receptions for 120 yards and even with Big Ben, Antonio Brown managed a solid game with 7 receptions for 106 yards. The only concerning thing is Lamar Miller seemed to hurt in last night's game and was in and out of the game last night. It's something to monitor. This was also a reminder that when it clicks..Mayra definitely has a solid team, there was a reason she started 3-0. For Matt, well he was trending up after an 0-3 start then winning 3 straight, but this week just wasn't his week. The BIG concern is Jamaal Charles. There's no way he's right and that combined with Spencer Ware dominating the backfield and I don't know if he's even usable for now. He got Matt a zero. Tom Brady was OK, but a little disappointing by Brady standards with 20 points (I'd take that in a heartbeat). Tyrell Williams continues his up and down performances with a nice 7 catch 140 yard game. Gronk added 93 and a score, Mike Davis added a TD, and Isaiah Crowell had 79 total yards a score it just wasn't enough. You know why it's frustrating owning Jeremy Hill? Because he's so inconsistent that when he goes off, odds are he's on your bench. Matt still would've lost, but still Hill had 26.20 points on his bench. He's so hard to trust. Mayra will see if her team can continue the turnaround when she takes on Leland next week, while Matt will take on Albert on his team which is in disarray.

Game MVP
Matt Forte (Bigger Balls)
101 Rushing Yards, 1 Rushing TD, 54 Receiving Yards, 1 Receiving TD, 27.40 Points
Baltimore Ravens v New York Jets : News Photo 

Hoosier Daddy (7-0)                     96.44
Channel 4 News Team (4-3)        76.32 there's a lot to go through in this matchup as this should've absolutely been an Albert win had things stayed on track. Like I said, sometimes you need a little luck here and there in this game, and Ryan got another break this week. So Albert, needing some RB help with Jordan Howard falling off and Doug Martin still not ready to go and with an unsure timetable decided to take a gamble and trade for LeSean McCoy on the hope that his hamstring injury wasn't serious and he'd miss a game at the most, but because Mike Gillislee, McCoy's backup, has looked good in relief, he could just pick him up with his #1 waiver claim and ride him for a week before McCoy continued on his war path. Also the "throw ins" in the trade were Jordan Matthews (a WR 2/3 type who already had his bye, and could fill in as a starter for Albert) and LaGarrette Blount (Who is a wild card when it comes to use from Patriots, though so far, he's been pretty good). a perfect world all that would happen. The Bills though...decided risk McCoy's health and suit him up instead of letting him rest and get better, which also devalued Gillislee who was supposed to start. It was a mess, McCoy predictably aggravated his hamstring injury and Gillislee was just not used much at all as the two combined for 3.2 points. Jordan Matthews didn't do any better. Granted it was against Minnesota, but he finished with a mere 2.5 points. That trade blew up bad, and now after looking like a solid contender, Albert might be trending downward if McCoy's out for multiple weeks and Doug Martin doesn't come back soon. It's always hindsight that trades are regretted but just goes to show you how dumb and stupid this game is. The Bills SHOULD'VE let McCoy rest, but nope, they were greedy and it costs not only them but Albert (not that they give a crap about Albert, lol). So this combined with a terrible Thursday start (7.2 points from Jordan Howard and Zach Miller combined) turned this from a difficult matchup to a very winnable one for Ryan and he took advantage of it. Only Luck and Hilton were great (combining for 53 of Alberts 76.32 points) as everyone else was horrific. For Ryan it wasn't a glowing performance, but it got the job done. Again, Ryan used the waiver wire to his benefit by picking up Jack Doyle while newly acquired Greg Olsen was on bye. Doyle was great with 9 receptions for 78 and a score as Ryan keeps benefiting from key waiver pickups. Nobody really "blew up" but solid performances all around from Michael Crabtree (8 for 96 and a score) Mark Ingram (TD) and Tevin Coleman (TD, but he got hurt) help Ryan get the easy win. The big concern is still those receivers. Kenny Britt and Chris Hogan combined for 7.3 points and it's really hard to have to trust them on a week to week basis. It looks like it's something he's stuck with though so hopefully the rest of his team can mask that weakness. Albert will hope to recover against Matt next week, while Ryan tries to go 8-0 against Mike.

Game MVP
Michael Crabtree (Hoosier Daddy)
8 Receptions, 96 Receiving Yards,1 Receiving TD, 19.60 Points
Oakland Raiders v Jacksonville Jaguars : News Photo 

SCLSU MudDogs (3-4)                    101.38
Shock The Monkey (1-6)                   81.54

Much needed win for Alex here as his team has been wildly inconsistent but this was a great matchup against Mark who's team has just been struggling beyond belief and Alex takes advantage and gets the win. Once again led by Drew Brees (367 and 3 scores) and Le'Veon Bell (149 total yards) Alex really didn't need much more to secure the victory. With Theo Riddick and Carlos Hyde out, Alex hit with using Tavon Austin as his flex (10 catches for 57 and score) and missed with Bobby Rainey (he had -1 total yards of offense) but it wouldn't end up mattering. The concern here is still Alex's receivers. Travis Benjamin hasn't exactly sucked, but hasn't been great either while Julian Edelman has been a complete disappointment. Another game under 10 points. Larry Fitzgerald was decent with a 9 catch 70 yard game, but you need someone to be the big playmaker out of that group and it can't be Tavon Austin. For Mark, another low scoring disappointment. DeMarco Murray continues to pull his weight with yet another 20 point performance, but everyone else is just not good or too inconsistent. Jamison Crowder got Mark 7 catches for 108 yards, while Jarvis Landry had 78 and a 2 PT conversion, but Blake Bortles is awful and the rest of his team got nothing going. Here's the good news though (and what I'm scared of, because of course it's all gonna come together next week), Latavius Murray is back from injury and he looked really good (2 TD's and there's no doubt it's his backfield once again), Dez is going to play for Mark next week and Alshon Jeffrey gets Jay Cutler back. That will definitely benefit Mark, who's basically a loss away from his season being over. He'll take me on next week while Alex takes on Drew in what will not be a cakewalk matchup.

Game MVP
Drew Brees (SCLSU MudDogs)
367 Passing Yards, 3 Passing TD's, 1 Interception, 28.18 Points
New Orleans Saints v Kansas City Chiefs : News Photo 

THE SPOILER (4-3)             84.14
Woe Is You (4-3)                    73.70

Good lord, I can't believe this. Drew's points are awful, but it doesn't matter as he once again WINS as Mike's guys just totally didn't show up as a team this week. This was actually kinda close with Drew up against Mike but Drew having Devonte Booker and Mike having C.J. Anderson. Unfortunately for Mike, this is looking like a full blown committee as both guys looked great and both scored TD's which basically negating each other and Drew hangs on for the W. So Drew's "What The Fuck" Plays include Marquise Lee (goes for 7 for 107) and Adam Humphries (Sucked). Drew only got 1 point from Terrence West and STILL WON. Allen Robinson also sucked ONCE AGAIN..with only caught 2 passes for 9 yards...AND DREW STILL FUCKING WON....unbelievable. Kirk Cousins led Drew's team in scoring with 300 yards a passing TD and a rushing TD. I just don't get this team at all. That's fantasy football for you though. For Mike, his running backs were great as Jacquizz Rodgers has been a fine replacement for Doug Martin. He finished with an insane 154 yards. As long as Martin is out, Rodgers has earned his spot to start on Mike's team. C.J. Anderson still got over 100 and a score but when your opponent has the other half of the timeshare and he does just as good, it just negates. Vernon Davis had 6 for 79 and everyone else was just awful? Remember when Stefon Diggs was supposed to be the "next big thing"...he's faded so fast I don't even know if you can use him anymore. Beckham being tied to Eli sucks and yeah that lack of receiver depth is really starting to show as Cameron Meredith, and Terrelle Pryor are good for a couple of nice games here and there but as every week contributors it's going to be spotty. Chester Rogers is a complete dart throw that didn't work this week. Mike's team seems to be another team that's on the decline but knowing how this season has gone, he'll just win next by 30 points and all will be good. He's got a tough matchup against Ryan's undefeated team, while Drew tries to play spoiler yet again, this time against Alex.

Game MVP
Kirk Cousins (THE SPOILER)
301 Passing Yards, 1 Passing TD, 19 Rushing Yards, 1 Rushing TD, 22.94 Points
Washington Redskins v Detroit Lions : News Photo

Friday, October 21, 2016

Thursday Night Overview/Week 6 Awards

 Chicago Bears v Green Bay Packers : News Photo

C' can see it a mile away. Aaron Rodgers. He sucks right? How many games without a 300 yard game? 17, I believe? He scored what under 14 last week? It's sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FUCKING OBVIOUS what's going to happen here. Not to mention that Eddie Lacy is out and the Packers literally have no real running back who knows the playbook (a practice squad player and recently acquired Knile Davis) plus their D sucks (unless you're playing against them when you have Eli Manning like me, then they become the 85 Bears) AND IT'S THURSDAY NIGHT, which historically FUCKS ME OVER week after week so it's probably going to be a shootout. He's going to go off. Big time. For SURE over 300 yards and probably 2-3 TD's

 You guys see what I don't wanna do this shit anymore?????? Just because I call it EVERY MOTHERFUCKING WEEK.....just because I EXPECT THE FUCKING WORST EVERY FUCKING DAMN FUCKING WEEK and I'M ALWAYS FUCKING RIGHT WHEN IT COMES TO MY SHITTY FUCKING LUCK....doesn't make it any less frustrating. I am sooooooooo fucking sick and fucking tired of this bullshit more than you know. AGAIN....DONE BEFORE SUNDAY....A FUCKING GAIN......and I LOVE THE FUCKING FAKE OUT "STRUGGLES" IN THE FIRST HALF ONLY FOR RODGERS TO GO BATSHIT CRAZY IN THE 2ND HALF. ABSURD....FUCKING ABSURD....I seriously can't take this anymore. Aaron Rodgers "sucks" until the week I PLAY AGAINST HIM....because it has to be the week where he plays a shitty ass defense....against a team who can't generate offense because they lose their QB...and of course Green Bay has zero running backs so Aaron Rodgers has to throw 1,000 FUCKING times. The result? Over 300 yards and 3 scores....BECAUSE THAT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE THE MOTHERFUCKING RESULT. Also....I had to panic trade fucking LeSean McCoy because he's hurt (or he's not hurt..or it's not that bad...or it is that it's really not that bad...WHO FUCKING KNOWS). SICK OF IT......SICK OF ITTTTTTTTTT. I'm dead serious....I can't see playing this crap anymore after this year. It's beyond's beyond out of my's beyond stupid......not one second is can it be??? Every week I'M DONE BY FUCKING THURSDAY NIGHT.  I can't be's not me....I can't shrug it off....I can't go "oh well".....I can't....this is gonna ruin my weekend (as usual)...and I can't be fucking pissed 24/7 for 6 months out of the year anymore. My personality is not meant for this game. Like I said....every week this keep happening...makes it soooooo much more easier that I'm going to call it a day and quit. It doesn't mean the league has to end...I don't mind sticking around as the commish to keep it alive, but I need a break from it. Not doing it anymore. It's and when it's not fun...there's zero sense in playing. I think I'd have more fun watching you guys play than being in the league. yeah Aaron Rodgers did his thing and broke out his "slump" (like EVERYONE does against me) and goes for 326 yards and 3 scores. Whatever, I've said everything I could about it. "Mad Scientist" Drew is at it again...he loses Eddie Lacy to IR, plugs in Ty Montgomery and works because of course it does. He finished with 10 receptions for 66 yards and another 60 on the ground for nearly 18 points. Posey got a shitty game from Cameron Meredith and just like that....Drew...with his rag tag team...could end up pulling off another upset and go to 4-3. My poor Dad's definitely going to be 0-7 as already Randall Cobb scored a TD caught 11 balls for 95 yards and scored over 23 points. My Dad had Devante Adams on his bench because he was supposed to miss the game with a concussion, but no he played and went off on his bench for nearly 32 points. SO...FUCKING...RIDICULOUS...who saw that coming? Nobody...because Fantasy football is full of shit and is a crapshoot. Riddle me a "prime" matchup where Aaron Rodgers threw the ball all night how does Jordy Nelson get 1 fucking reception for 9 yards? Because (say it with me) Fantasy Football is full of shit and is a crapshoot. Crushing blow for Matt there. Brian Hoyer fucked over Albert's guys royally as he gets a combined 7.2 points from Jordan Howard and Zach Miller. Howard also looks like shit now and apparently KADEEM CAREY will probably be the new starting running back know the drill. Brian Hoyer also fucked over Mark as Alshon Jeffrey was held to under 5 fantasy points. So once again out of everyone players only 3 people benefit from this game...Eugene...Leland...and Drew. Everyone big time fucked. Yayyyyy Thursday Night Football!!!! Onto the awards

Wane McGarity Co Studs Of The Week
David Johnson (No Soup For You)
Odell Beckham Jr. (Woe Is You)
New York Jets v Arizona Cardinals : News Photo 
Baltimore Ravens v New York Giants : News Photo 
Couldn't pick one from last week, both were amazing and deserve the honors. David Johnson's been the more consistent of the two, establishing himself as by far the best fantasy football player in the game, but it's really hard to ignore 222 yards from Beckham Jr.

Michael Wiley Dud Of The Week
Larry Fitzgerald (SCLSU MudDogs)
New York Jets v Arizona Cardinals : News Photo 
I'm giving this to Fitzgerald because of the magnitude of the matchup he was in. In a game against the shitty Jets Defense, all Alex needed was a decent Fitzgerald game to topple Eugene and his undefeated streak. All he got was 6 receptions for 49 yards. Sure the 7.9 points don't look THAT bad compared to other previous busts...but for a talent like Fitzgerald against a terrible defense like the Jets...this should've been an easy win for Alex...instead Fitzgerald disappointing game dropped him to 2-4.

Drew Bennett Sneaky Surprise Award
Kenny Britt (Hoosier Daddy)
Los Angeles Rams v Detroit Lions : News Photo 
I'm telling you..this season Ryan's been on his A game all year and it's why he's currently #1 as an undefeated team with the most points scored in the league. It's key pickups like Hunter Henry and Kenny Britt that have helped propel Ryan to where is he. Britt's never been a fantasy monster, but a Steve Smith injury and Ryan's relatively thin receiving group forced Ryan to take a chance on Britt and hope for the best. Britt more than exceeded expectations going off for nearly 30 points. In a matchup where the margin of victory was relative small (around 10 points) Ryan needed each and everyone of those Britt points.

There is no Jay Cutler Bad Decision Award this week

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Week 7 Matchups and Predictions

Well, the big stories going into Week 7 remain to see just how far Ryan and Eugene's undefeated streaks can go. Both had some trouble last week, but survived. Eugene should be a shoo in for a 7th win but Ryan's actually in danger of dropping his first game this week in a tough matchup against Albert. On the flip side, we're still waiting to see if Dad can get his first win of the season but it's going to be super tough as he plays Leland. If Dad loses, he'll tie me for worst losing streak in league history (7). Here's this week's matchups.

Rocket Man (6-0) vs
Bay Area Tanners (1-5)

All Time Record
Series is Tied 3-3 (Eugene beat me in the 3rd Place Game in the 2015 Wane McGarity Bowl)

You know why I don't bother doing any real kind of write up on my matchups anymore? Because why bother? It doesn't matter my "key players" or "wild cards" or anything. It's just going to be a loss like it has for 5 straight weeks and 9 weeks out of 10. My team sucks and usually my opponent gets some stupid bullshit that happens only when teams play me. This week? C' can see it a mile away. Aaron Rodgers. He sucks right? How many games without a 300 yard game? 17, I believe? He scored what under 14 last week? It's sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FUCKING OBVIOUS what's going to happen here. Not to mention that Eddie Lacy is out and the Packers literally have no real running back who knows the playbook (a practice squad player and recently acquired Knile Davis) plus their D sucks (unless you're playing against them when you have Eli Manning like me, then they become the 85 Bears) AND IT'S THURSDAY NIGHT, which historically FUCKS ME OVER week after week so it's probably going to be a shootout. He's going to go off. Big time. For SURE over 300 yards and probably 2-3 TD's...shit maybe more but that's the floor and once again the projected "104-104" score that Yahoo projects will go up to 104-135 for my opponent and I'm once again done before a single Sunday snap. No sense in pretending I have ANY semblance of hope...that's just the way this season has gone and why would it change now?? Also....DeAndre Hopkins with his "brutal matchup" against Denver. He probably won't go nuts, but he'll still be more serviceable than he should be against a super tough Denver D, and hey maybe even add a garbage TD. Why? BECAUSE OF ME....that's why! There's a reason I have the worst points allowed (BY FAR....NOT EVEN CLOSE) in the league...because I suck and have shitty luck. So ladies and gentleman...Eugene stays undefeated and I go 1-6 with 6 losses in a row and 10 losses in 11 weeks. Bla bla bla..the beat goes on and we'll have EXACT SAME conversation next week for whoever my opponent is.

No Soup For You (3-3)   vs
BigBadBob (0-6)

All Time Record
Leland Leads series 3-2

Key Players

No Soup For You: Matthew Stafford (Redskins) Demaryius Thomas (Texans) Marvin Jones (Redskins) Brandin Cooks (Chiefs) Todd Gurley (Giants) David Johnson (Seahawks)

BigBadBob: Andy Dalton (Browns) Emmanuel Sanders (Texans) Brandon Marshall (Ravens) Frank Gore (Titans) Devonta Freeman (Chargers)

Wild Cards

No Soup For You: I'd say tough matchup for David Johnson but I think it's safe to say he's matchup proof. Demaryius Thomas production.

BigBadBob: No Cam this week. Hunter Henry/Devonta Freeman trade. Emmanuel Sanders health. Brandon Marshall/Geno Smith Chemistry

Yahoo Says: Leland wins 103-94 (adjusted to add Hunter Henry/Devonta Freeman points for Dad)
I Say: Leland wins. This is exactly what Leland needed after a little mini slump. Beat up on the shitty teams and get right back in the thick of things. I do like the trade Dad and Ryan did as I think it benefits both of them. Dad's running backs are a trainwreck and Devonta Freeman automatically becomes Dad's #1 back, while Hunter Henry has shown great potential and has Top 5 tight end potential if he keeps performing like he has the past 3 weeks. Yes, losing Greg Olsen is a big loss, but Dad needs help everywhere if he wants to at least get a win this season, so to trade Olsen for two startable pieces was a good move. Unfortunately, this week, it won't matter much, because trade or not, I don't see Dad beating Leland. Brandon Marshall will now have Geno Smith throwing to him, we don't know how bad Emmanuel  Sanders is hurt, it just doesn't seem like Dad has the firepower to contend with Eugene. It's looking like loss #7 unfortunately.

Light's Broken Bots (3-3) vs
Bigger Balls (3-3)

All Time Record
Matt Leads Series 5-3 (Matt beat Mayra in the Quarterfinal of the 2015 Michael Wiley Loser Bowl)

Key Players

Light's Broken Bots: Tom Brady (Steelers) Jordy Nelson (Bears) Jamaal Charles (Saints) Rob Gronkowski (Steelers)

Bigger Balls: Matt Ryan (Chargers) Antonio Brown (Patriots) Amari Cooper (Jaguars) Lamar Miller (Broncos) Matt Forte (Ravens)

Wild Cards

Light's Broken Bots: No Kelvin Benjamin. Jamaal Charles Bigger Workload? Hill/Crowell underachievers

Bigger Balls: No Ben for Brown. Tough Matchup for Lamar Miller. Matt Forte's continued decline in play

Yahoo Says: Mayra wins 103-102
I Say: Matt wins. These two teams are trending in opposite directions. After a blazing 3-0 start, Mayra's now dropped 3 straight, while as predicted Matt survived his initial injury plagued 0-3 start and now that's he's fully back with a healthy squad he's proceeded to win 3 in a row. This is going to be really close, with Matt losing a big piece of his offense with Kelvin Benjamin on bye, but Mayra's having big problems of her own. Antonio Brown is still gonna do good, but losing Big Ben is HUGE to say the least. That combined with just dreadful play from Matt Forte and a tough matchup for Lamar Miller and I'm going to give the slight edge to Matt this week.

Hoosier Daddy (6-0) vs
Channel 4 News Team (4-2)

All Time Record
Albert leads series 9-5

Key Players

Hoosier Daddy: Philip Rivers (Falcons) Michael Crabtree (Jaguars) Mark Ingram (Chiefs) Christine Michael (Cardinals)

Channel 4 News Team: Andrew Luck (Titans) A.J. Green (Browns) T.Y. Hilton (Titans) Doug Baldwin (Cardinals) Doug Martin* (49ers)

Wild Cards

Hoosier Daddy: Big Ben out indefinitely. Mark Ingram's struggles. Wide Receiver Production. Tough Matchup for Christine Michael. Who's Ryan's tight end this week?

Channel 4 News Team: Will Doug Martin Play? Tough Doug Baldwin matchup.

Yahoo Says: Albert wins 108-85 (Ryan has no TE at this moment)
I Say: Albert wins. These two have met a whopping 14 times in the 7 years of the league. So the big thing here is Ryan might be sacrificing his undefeated streak in order to improve his team for his playoff run as he made a trade with Dad for Greg Olsen. I really like this aggressive move, because there are really only 2 trustworthy Tight Ends you can count on on a week to week basis, Gronk and Greg Olsen. Everyone else is either injury prone (Jordan Reed, Jimmy Graham) or just too inconsistent. Ryan had a surplus of running backs so he traded him and sold high on Hunter Henry (verdict remains to be seen on him, he's had a great 3 game stretch though) to grab the 2nd best Tight End in a weak overall position. Problem is Olsen's on bye so he'll have to wait until next week to use his services. Olsen or not, this was going to be a tough matchup anyways against Albert's team. Ryan losing Big Ben isn't too big of a deal to me because it's not like Philip Rivers sucks. Rivers is a minor downgrade, but is capable of putting up big numbers like Roethlisberger does, so it's not close to being a season killer or anything. Ryan's still glaring weakness is his receiving core. He barely beat Mayra last week, but was bailed out by Kenny Britt of all guys. You can't count on 29 points from Britt every week and having to trust Crabtree and John Brown as WR2's is very risky (Steve Smith is still out). No Zeke this week hurts as well (on bye) and with Ingram sorta struggling, just seems like all the momentum is on Albert's side for this week. Now if Doug Martin doesn't play (he's got a super nice matchup against the 49ers who are dogshit in run defense) that'll be a blow to Albert's chances, but I still think for this week, Albert's talent will be able to overcome that and beat Ryan and hand him his first loss of the season.

SCLSU MudDogs (2-4) vs
Shock The Monkey (1-5)

All Time Record
Series is Tied 1-1

Key Players

SCLSU MudDogs: Drew Brees (Chiefs) Julian Edelman (Steelers) Larry Fitzgerald (Seahawks) Carlos Hyde* (Bucs) Le'Veon Bell (Patriots)

Shock The Monkey: Jarvis Landry (Bills) Alshon Jeffrey (Packers) DeMarco Murray (Colts)

Wild Cards

SCLSU MudDogs: Edelman back on track? Hyde's health. Difficult Fitzgerald matchup.

Shock The Monkey: QB Production. Production overall outside of Landry/Jeffrey/Murray

Yahoo Says: Alex wins 106-93
I Say: Alex wins. Alex is coming off a disappointing under 4 point loss to Eugene and really needs a win here to get back on track in the thick of things. Outside of me an Dad, he couldn't have asked for a better opponent. It's had to be frustrating that Julian Edelman hasn't been great even with Tom Brady back. You gotta think that changes soon. Also, Larry Fitzgerald really like Alex down on Monday Night and he's got another tough matchup against the Seahawks. With the way Carson Palmer has been playing, I'm not sure if you can expect a big game from him this week. Also of concern is Carlos Hyde's injury status. He was spotted in an arm sling during practice and there's some legit concern he'll miss this week's game. Despite all those concerns, Alex should be in the driver's seat this week against Mark. Strictly on paper, Mark has the worst roster outside of Drew and there's just no way to believe this team rights the ship this week. He hasn't scored more than 80 points the past two weeks (two in the 70's) and overall 4 of 6 games are 80 or less (78.2, 80.80, 75.92, 76.94). For Mark to win, it seems like Jarvis Landry, Alshon Jeffrey, and DeMarco Murray ALL have to go off and though Murray's been the best one at going off, it's hard to see all 3 of them do it at the same time. Advantage Alex here, though the Hyde injury is something to monitor and could make it a closer matchup.

Woe Is You (4-2) vs

All Time Record
Series is Tied 2-2 (Drew Beat Mike in Week 13 of the 2013 Season)

Key Players

Woe Is You: Derek Carr (Jaguars) Odell Beckham Jr (Rams) C.J. Anderson (Texans) Jordan Reed (Lions)

THE SPOILER: Terrence West (Jets) Allen Robinson (Raiders)

Wild Cards

Woe Is You: C.J. Anderson's struggles. Jordan Reed's health. Meredith and Pryor's continued success. Stefon Diggs return


Yahoo Says: Mike wins 99-86
I say: Mike wins. Well, Drew was dealt another blow to his team as Eddie Lacy has been ruled out this week and could possibly miss multiple weeks according to sources. I'd feel bad for Drew if he DIDN'T HAVE TWO MORE WINS THAN ME. He keeps surviving and though he "should" lose here to Mike, you just never fucking know with "The Mad Scientist". This week's dart throws include Robert Woods and Kendall Wright, and with two tight ends in his lineup you would think Mike would have this hand but if Drew can beat Leland...beating Mike isn't as it insane as it sounds.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Week 6 Results: Hanging By A Thread

Dallas Cowboys v Green Bay Packers : News Photo 
So we're still in uncharted territory here as both Ryan and Eugene by 10 points and less narrowly win their respective matchups and stay undefeated at 6-0. They can both tie the 2nd best start in league history next week with 7 wins (well, Eugene WILL tie it...he plays me next...that's the most surest fucking win you can have). It's pretty crazy and it's a testament to both guys in how they drafted and picked up players throughout the season so far. Here's this week's results.

No Soup For You (3-3)            135.50
Bay Area Tanners (1-5)             91.36

"The underachieving team rights the ship and slaughters me" That's exactly what I said right? Because heaven forbid I do what Drew did and win with a shitbag team..nope of course not..I lose as usual by a lot because who's me. Like I didn't call this all week (and every week). So beyond predictable that it's makes me wanna cry. Beyond sick of it. I hate this shit with every fiber of my being. Now I play Eugene and his undefeated team which means loss #6. Whatever..fuck this.

Game MVP
David Johnson (No Soup For You) 
111 Rushing Yards, 3 Rushing TD's, 3 Receptions ,27 Receiving Yards, 33.3 Points
New York Jets v Arizona Cardinals : News Photo 

Light's Broken Bots (3-3)      106.34
BigBadBob (0-6)                       79.58

Well obviously us Puentes have no clue how to play this game. 1-11 record this season. Like Son like Father in this case. Dad's team was terrible outside of Cam. Matt's team wasn't great, but if you're playing me or Dad, you really don't have to be. Brady and Gronk were great again and Kelvin Benjamin and Jamaal Charles both had double digits. See...all you need is a back to back helping of playing me and Dad to get your season back on track. Unfortunately for Matt he has to now play real competition with teams that actually have a shot to win like Mayra. Dad's next loss is against Leland next week.

Game MVP
Tom Brady (Light's Broken Bots)
376 Passing Yards, 3 Passing TD's, 30.24 Points
Cincinnati Bengals v New England Patriots : News Photo 

Woe Is You (4-2)                          122.94
Channel 4 News Team (4-2)         88.38

Well after 3 straight dominating wins, Albert's team gets crushed by Mike's this week as really only Andrew Luck showed up. Disappointing receiver performances by A.J. Green, Hilton and Doug Baldwin hurt Albert pretty badly this week. For Mike, looks like he found a nice waiver wire pickup in Cameron Meredith. He had nearly 17 points and Jonathan Stewart is back and healthy with 2 TD's and nearly 21 points. FINALLY we saw the Odell Beckham that made Mike take him #3 overall. Beckham was insane with 222 receiving yards and 2 TD's (211 of those yards came in the 2nd half). Terrelle Pryor had a great added 65 yards and two scores himself. Despite season ending losses of Eric Decker and Keenan Allen, Mike's quietly been doing pretty good with a 4-2 record. He gets what should be a pretty easy matchup against Drew, while Albert looks to end Ryan's undefeated streak.

Game MVP
Odell Beckham Jr. (Woe Is You)
8 Receptions, 222 Receiving Yards, 2 Receiving TD's 1 Fumble Lost, 36.20 Points
Baltimore Ravens v New York Giants : News Photo 

Hoosier Daddy (6-0)              115.06
Bigger Balls (3-3)                   104.50

Mayra's team is on a bit of a slide since that 3-0 start and it doesn't seem to be getting any easier anytime soon. The big news is Ben Roethlisberger was injured and has an uncertain timetable for a return. Last year, that killed Antonio Brown's season while Ben was out and it can threaten to do the same this year. That and Matt Forte just completely sucking after 2 games has taking the sails off Mayra's season recently. She finally got the Lamar Miller breakout game everyone's been waiting for (178 total yards and 2 TD's) but it wasn't enough as the majority of her team underperformed pretty badly. Outside of Matt Ryan (who's been AMAZING) AND Amari Cooper (and to an extant Mike Wallace) it was another overall disappointing effort. For Ryan, he sneaks out a victory thanks to KENNY BRITT of all people. I give props to Ryan who has used to waiver wire to his advantage this year with pickups like Britt and Henry, two big reasons he's still undefeated after 6 weeks. Also, Christine Michael was great with 2 rushing TD's and Zeke was Zeke with another 157 yard performance. Luckily those performances were able to hide the bad (Roethlisberger's injury, Crabtree and Ingram terrible games). The Big Ben injury isn't even too much of a big deal because Ryan has Philip Rivers to plug in. He'll definitely have a tough road to win #7 with Albert next on the horizon, while Mayra takes on Matt and will try to end her 3 game losing streak.

Game MVP
Kenny Britt (Hoosier Daddy)
7 receptions, 136 Receiving Yards, 2 Receiving TD's, 29.10 Points
Los Angeles Rams v Detroit Lions : News Photo 

Rocket Man (6-0)                 91.06
SCLSU MudDogs (2-4)       87.50 close to defeating both Lawrence brothers, but ultimately Larry Fitzgerald's let down performance Monday Night did Alex in as he loses by less than 4 points. I hate to harp on it, but I'm really sure he'd like to get that week back where he lost because he didn't play a tight end because there's a ton of 3-3 teams in his path now blocking his playoff chance. Awful performances from everyone but Drew Brees, Le'veon Bell, and Jimmy Graham. For Eugene, he barely escapes and his guys didn't really play much better. He keeps winning despite Aaron Rodgers struggles and really outside of Julio (who saved him again despite a bad matchup) and Duke Johnson of all people, everyone was a disappointment on Eugene's team. You can pretty much lock Eugene into an 8-0 start because he plays me next week and then my Dad in Week 8. Spoiler Alert, because he's playing against me and it's Thursday Night against the Bears, Aaron Rodgers breaks his 17 games without a 300 yard game streak and goes nuts with over 300 and multiple scores. Just watch...I dare you to say I'm going to be wrong. For Alex, opportunity lost, but still he's only a game behind 4 teams and if you aren't playing me or my Dad, the next best team is to play Mark and that's exactly who he's playing next week. 

Game MVP
Julio Jones (Rocket Man)
7 Receptions, 139 Receiving Yards, 1 Receiving TD, 23.40 Points
Atlanta Falcons v Seattle Seahawks : News Photo 

THE SPOILER (3-3)          107.22
Shock The Monkey (1-5)      76.64

It seriously pisses me off that Drew and Mike's team can lose such key guys on their rosters and their waiver wire pickups pan out and they win while I don't even have injuries and my guys just SUCK. Even Drew's "good" players, Eddie Lacy and Allen Robinson have been MASSIVE disappointments, yet here's Drew 3-3 and dispatches Mark easily this week. Unbelievably frustrating that things never pan out like this for me but they do for everyone else (like when Eugene had a "bad on paper" team last year and managed to finish 3rd). So the "Mad Scientist" plays Jalen Strong and Carson Palmer and both fail miserably but thanks to Terrence West (87 and 2 scores) Coby Fleener (Fleenfuck with 74 yards and two TD's, one of them really!??! C'monnnn) and Cole Beasley (58 and two scores) Drew gets the easy win. Notice how I didn't say Eddie Lacy, Allen Robinson, and Ryan Mathews? Because THEY SUCKED...yet somehow DREW STILL FUCKING WINS....such bullshit. For Mark, I eerily see parallels to my team. We both have shoddy QB's (his has been a combo of Blake Bortles and Carson Palmer, while mine has been a steady shit stream of Eli, Dalton, and Alex Smith) underachieving pussies (Alshon Jeffrey, Latavius Murray, and Dez for Mark, basically my whole team outside of Mike Evans and LeSean McCoy). We have that one super elite RB that surprised everyone but since the rest of our team sucks beyond belief it doesn't matter how good they are (DeMarco Murray for Mark, and LeSean McCoy for me). Mark lost because half of his team was mediocre (5 guys scored between 11 and 13 points) and the rest were just flat out bad (Under 8 points for Barnidge, Under 5 points for Deandre Washington, barely over 2 points for Jeremy Kerley). Dez coming back is the only shot in the arm Mark can get at this point and he'll have to wait one more week for that as Dallas is on bye. Mark plays Alex next week, while Drew continues his unfathomable run against Mike.

Game MVP
Terrence "I Can't Believe I'm Typing This" West
87 Rushing Yards, 2 Rushing TD's, 4 Receptions, 36 Receiving Yards, 26.3 Points
Baltimore Ravens v New York Giants : News Photo 

P.S. This is a stupid sham of a "game" that requires zero skill only luck. My only hope is that somehow there's some legal loophole that makes this shit illegal to play in all 50 states and it gets banned from every being played in the United States again...if Trump or Hilary can promise that they can eliminate Fantasy Football forever...they get my undying support and vote.