Rocket Man (3-1) 107.5
Shock The Monkey (1-3) 86
Eugene continues to have no problem disposing of opponents as he gets win #3 with relative ease. There was a little scare during the day, but down 5 Sunday night, Eugene was able to get yet another superstar performance by DeMarco Murray who looks without a shadow of a doubt like the best running back in the game today. He finished with 149 rushing yards and two more TD's for 26.5 points. Eugene ended up surviving the terrible Cousins game thanks to Lamar Miller's 2 TD's, and Martellus Bennett's monster game of 9 catches for 134 yards. It's crazy to think Eugene doesn't even bother to use 3 of his top picks. Shane Vereen, Jordan Cameron, and Cam Newton have pretty much rode the pine most of the season for him and he STILL dominates. Julio Jones had 80 yards and double digit fantasy points as well. For Mark..just not enough firepower. Dwayne Allen and Mike Wallace both scored but didn't do really much else yardage wise. Matt Ryan had another 20 point performance and Matt Forte finally showed some signs of life with a nice game (171 total yards) but that was about it offensively for Mark who starts the season a disappointing 1-3 and now has to face Mayra's undefeated team next. Eugene will take on my Dad next week.
DeMarco Murray (Rocket Man)
149 rushing yards, 2 rushing TD's, 1 reception 6 yards, 26.5 points
Woe Is Me (1-3) 99.5
Arturo's Beans (2-2) 91
Just whatever my team sucks...period. Another matchup I should have won with ease and another wasted opportunity and now..just in the land of mediocrity and the real sense of this being a lost season after only 4 weeks. 3 in game injuries to starters (and another to Mike Evans on my bench) and LeSean McCoy just completely looking like an undrafted rookie free agent for the past two weeks has just killed me and my confidence. Forget repeating...this team doesn't look like a playoff team at all. I had the advantage the first wave of games as Matthew Stafford was great with nearly 300 passing yards, 2 Passing TD's, and a rushing TD and amazingly none of it to Calvin (So Kenny survives No Demaryius and Calvin being a decoy...naturally because he's playing me it works out), Randall Cobb had over 100 and 2 scores, and Brandon Marshall scored a TD. You know what the turning point was though? It wasn't Reggie Wayne FINALLY just breaking out and going off for 119 and a score for 20.5 points. It wasn't that cheap ass Coby Fleener touchdown at the 2 with the game out of reach (Thanks Luck...asshole). It was the V-Jax TD to win the game against the Steelers. Right then and there I felt the momentum swinging and swing it did. Gore caught a bullshit broken 55 yard pass for a TD which because Kenny had Kaepernick meant he double dipped and though Keenan Allen tried as hard as he could his 135 receiving yards were just not enough when LeSean McCoy plays like a pile of shit for the 2nd straight game. Two games. 3 points combined. That's beyond irritating and unacceptable. Fuck "the O'Line isn't healthy" bullshit. Who cares..great players overcome less than ideal situations and McCoy totally looks lost out there. By the time he "gets it" it might be too late. Vernon Davis got hurt again too not that it matters. I swear he must have killed one of Kaep's relatives or maybe he made fun of Kaep's tats on Twitter because Kaep IGNORES HIM on pretty much EVERY FUCKING PLAY. Considering how big a target he is..it's beyond frustrating. Down 3, Kenny had Knile Davis left and of course Davis gets that on one run. No excuses for being 2-2..I deserve to be 1-3 since that win against Eugene was the biggest crock of the season..deserve to lose that one (but no, fuck morals..not like I'm gonna change the outcome of that just because). Like I said 2-2...just whatever..on to 2-3 when Albert kicks the crap outta me. Can't wait to start Jerick McKennon (on A THURSDAY nonetheless, good lord) and get his 3.5 points and John Brown and his 4 points (if I'm lucky). So to recap, Kenny cries wolf too early (which is his thing..it never fails after we enforce a "no texting" policy it only takes a minute before Randall Cobb catches a motherfucking pass I get a text proclaiming that I won only for the "oh my god I can't believe this is happening miracle win, you should've won and there was no way in a zillion years I should've ever won because it's the biggest upset ever in the whole entire fantasy universe, in fact I'm gonna write Yahoo and send this matchup off so they post it as the biggest comeback of all time and I do all these theatrics to make you feel even worse and feel like shit" spiel) his season is saved and he lives happily ever after while his team rallies to make a playoff push. Woo fucking hoo.
Frank Gore (Woe Is Me) (The biggest underdog performance in NFL history because ya know...Frank Gore is a shitty back and could never in a million years score 20+ points, even though he's a real good fast durable back who only has "sucked" recently because of lack of carries..but ya know #BIGGESTUPSETEVERRR so whatever).
119 miracle rushing yards, 1 immaculate reception, 55 spectualar unfathomable yards, 1 historic TD where the ball is going to Canton to commemorate Kenny's upset victory in Week 4 of the 2014 season
(Never seen Frank Gore score in my life..like an asteroid would hit me before Frank Gore would ever score cause poor underdog Kenny uses him as his #1 RB #BIGGESTUPSETEVERRRR)
NEXT!!!!!!! (2-2) 115.5
The Bad Robofies (2-2) 97
This was actually closer than the score indicates and Dad was actually in the driver's seat only down 4 going into Monday Night with Tom Brady vs Travis Kelce. Even with Brady's recent struggles, you would think he'd be able to outscore a tight end right??? WRONG. Brady was awful again and thanks to costing my Dad a crucial win, to the bench he goes. I criticized Dad's decision to draft a backup QB so early, but it's now justified as Dad will get to use Russell Wilson from this point forward. Kelce was great with 93 receiving yards and a TD. Keep in mind, he doesn't even play all snaps, he can get better. The big play though for Leland that got him the win was Matt Asiata of all people. He might not be flashy, but he scored 3 TD's and had 28.5 points in a huge effort. Aaron Rodgers was also Aaron Rodgers as he picked apart the Bears Defense with 300 yards and 4 TD's. I tell you Leland's team is just so hard to predict because you never know outside of Rodgers who's gonna produce. Doug Martin was kinda bla but did contribute a TD. For Dad, he had a GREAT Sunday night with Terrence Williams scoring 2 TD's with 22 points overall and Jimmy Graham got some garbage yards and a TD for 16 points (he did lose a fumble). Heath Miller was actually a great start as well with 85 and a score. It would've been a great win for Dad who didn't have Gio Bernard who was on bye, but on the flip side it was a critical win for Leland who would've gone 1-3 had he lost. Leland takes on Kenny next week while my Dad has to take on the other Lawrence brother, Eugene.
Aaron Rodgers (NEXT!!!!!)
302 Passing Yards, 4 Passing TD's, 28 points
Channel 4 News Team (3-1) 99
Winter Is Here (1-3) 86.5
It's kinda fitting Albert has Steve Smith on his roster. Pretty much everyone wrote off Smith as any kind of fantasy asset and so far every week he's proven all the doubters wrong. All this talk about Mayra and Eugene dominating the league, Albert just keeps winning as well. The former 2 time Wane McGarity Bowl Champion is silently sitting at 3rd place and he does it with weeks without players like Arian Foster, A.J. Green and this week alone he had no Green, Peyton Manning or Percy Harvin. It still worked out to his advantage thanks to the aforementioned Steve Smith. Smith, against his former team, ripped them for 139 yards a two TD's. A man on a mission, just like Albert, who's looking to get to his 4th title game and if his team keeps playing at this high level...he might just do that. It helps to have a great backup in Philip Rivers to rely on. Rivers did his job beautifully with 377 yards and 3 TD's. Now it's Peyton's job the rest of the way. Everyone else was pretty mediocre or downright ineffective (Cordarrelle Patterson isn't looking like that breakout star that everyone thought he'd be) but despite that Albert still picked up win #3 and has his top guns back for the duration of the season. For Alex, he actually had some hope going into Monday night. 27 points from Gronk and Ridley wasn't impossible. Unfortunately, that offense was just terrible, and a late Gronk TD made the score look a little closer. Alex had a nice play in Eddie Royal in a losing effort. He had 105 yards and two TD's. T.Y. Hilton had a nice yardage game with 105 yards, and while Brees had 340 and 2 Passing TD's, I think many thought he'd be able to have a bigger game against that Cowboy defense. Albert takes on me next, while Alex will face Matt next.
Steve Smith Sr. (Channel 4 News Team)
7 catches, 139 receiving yards, 2 receiving TD's, 28.5 points
Dr. Light's Robots (2-2) 146
JTG's Warehouse (2-2) 80.5
Blowout of the week as Matt's team was just ON this week. It was over Thursday when Larry Donnell scored 3 TD's. Matt had 4 players that scored 21 points or more lead by the returning Jamaal Charles who yep...he's back. 92 rushing yards, 1 rushing touchdown and 2 receiving TD's for 29.5 points. Just flat out amazing, and if THAT Jamaal Charles is back...here comes Matt. Alex Smith so far has filled in admirably so far as Matt's QB. He had 248 passing yards and 3 TD's. Jordy Nelson continues to be in the conversion as best WR (along with Antonio Brown) as he continues to get a ton of targets and yards. 108 yards and 2 TD's this week. Even TRENT RICHARDSON decided to show up and have his best game of the season by far. He had 99 total yards and a TD. Sammy Watkins ALSO chipped in a TD. Only Andre Johnson and Donald Brown (who had a gimmie matchup...so disappointing, though it doesn't matter) didn't contribute much to the win. For Drew, it's just big time obvious how much losing Adrian Peterson is affecting his team. Not to mention that fact that Julius Thomas and Andre Ellington were both on byes and it just never was even close to being competitive. The only bright spot is that Kelvin Benjamin continues to look like a legit star as he pulled in 60 and a score. The only other one worth mentioning is Golden Tate who took advantage of Megatron being a decoy by hauling in 8 catches for 116 yards. Matt gets Alex next, while Drew takes on Ryan.
Jamaal Charles (Dr. Light's Robots)
92 rushing yards, 1 rushing TD, 3 receptions, 16 receiving yards, 2 receiving TD's, 29.5 points
Hoosier Daddy (1-3) 65.5
Ho hum..Mayra wins again. It's funny how a 55.5 point win just gets overshadowed, but I guess it's just becoming the norm now. Mayra easily extends her winning streak to 4-0 and here's the thing..who's gonna stop her? Now due to the nature and unpredictability of Football, her loss will probably be random and unexpected...it always is, but seriously if you look at the schedule..on paper..there's just no team in the next few weeks that looks like a credible challenger. It shouldn't be Mark..nor Drew..doubt it's Alex, sure as shit won't be me that's for fucking sure..Leland..man I doubt it.that leads to Week 10 against Eugene. Like I said...it's too unpredictable..and someone out of that group will pull off the upset, but it's not entirely crazy to think Mayra could start out 9-0 (breaking a record shared by Mark and Matt for best start at 5-0 and also breaking my Dad's record of most wins in a row which is 8). Andrew Luck has so far been ELITE and he had just another magnificent performance. Almost 400 yards passing and 4 TD's. Antonio Brown..he's the best receiver in football...no doubt anymore. He added 131 yards and 2 more TD's to an already impressive resume. DeAndre Hopkins, Dez, and Ahmad Bradshaw all chipped in and scored TD's and scored double digit fantasy points, while even a "quiet" Le'Veon Bell game provided 13 points. For Ryan..he was DOA from the get go after the disappointing Rashad Jennings/Garcon start. The good news? Eddie Lacy scored? The bad news? He still looks like plodding shit. Yardage was barely there, a short yardage TD salvaged his day. Nick Foles was AWFUL..NO TD'S AND 2 PICKS. Alshon was bla but did score a TD..the yardage wasn't there though. Roddy White was the best of the bunch with 73 and a score. Been a disappointing start for a team that highly regarded by both me and Yahoo. Mayra looks to tie the best start record against Mark next, while Ryan takes on Drew in the battle of two underachieving teams.
Antonio Brown (Bigger Balls)
7 receptions, 131 receiving yards, 2 receiving TD's, 28.5 points