Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Week 1 Results: Week of The Underperformers

Cowboys get 6 TOs to beat Manning, Giants 36-31 


What a crazy, unpredictable week 1. Dez Bryant, C.J. Spiller, Marshawn Lynch, Stevan Ridley, Calvin Johnson, Trent Richardson, Lamar Miller, MJD and my personal favorite...DAVID WILSON. Some of the biggest names drafted in the first two rounds (Wilson was an early 3rd) and all of them were HORRIBLE to say the least. I've never seen a week where so many higher end players had such terrible weeks. Who was able to survive to suckness? Let's find out in the Week 1 Results!

Shock the Monkey (1-0)        126.50
Not Even Lying (0-1)             107

Well, add another way to lose on the list for Kenny. Despite an awesome 30.5 point start from Demaryius Thomas, Mark rallied to win because of off the charts performances from Victor Cruz and Jason Witten in the Sunday Night game. They combined for 5 TD's (3 for Cruz, 2 for Witten) and erased a 35 point deficit to win easily by 19.5 points. Not a bad debut for Mark. Mark got an overall great performance from his team as Matt Ryan threw for a couple scores and 300 yards, Matt Forte and Mike Williams found the end zone and Steven Jackson scored in double digits. For Kenny, it wasn't a bad week at all scoring wise. Over 100 points is usually a good productive week. At least it proved that his trade was necessary and worked out as Randall Cobb was great (108 yards and a score for 19.5 points) and Chris Johnson, while unspectacular still outperformed Lamar Miller (7 points to .5). Still it has to be disappointing that Doug Martin had 11 (only saved by a TD). Drew Brees was well Drew Bress the usual goodness with 350+ yards passing and a couple TD scores. I definitely think Kenny can survive a week 1 loss with team. It's bound to get better. As for Mark, don't sleep on this team. A healthy Victor Cruz combined with the running back combo, Witten, and Matt Ryan, can beat anyone in the league. Mark will take on my Dad next week, while Kenny has yet another tough challenge in Mayra.

Game MVP
Victor Cruz (Shock The Monkey)
5 receptions, 118 yards 3 TD's, 31.5 points

New York Giants v Dallas Cowboys

Channel 4 News Team (1-0)              137.50
Hoosier Daddy (0-1)                            74.50

I don't know what it is but when Albert beats Ryan (he beat him by over 100 last season) he DESTROYS HIM. This was never close. How bad was it? If Albert had only played Peyton Manning and A.J. Green (who had 32 points with 162 yards and 2 TD's) and benched the rest of his team he STILL would've won by 4. Yeah...that's domination. Albert pretty much every year drafts a team that's made for high scoring weeks. Steve Smith had a TD, Alfred Morris, though disappointing with 2 fumbles, still managed a TD, Gore and Finley also found the end zone. Of course it didn't hurt with that 46 point Thursday Peyton Manning performance. Albert's a powerhouse and a definite contender for the fantasy gold. As for Ryan, just underwhelming performances, especially at the RB position with 1st round pick Marshawn Lynch and 2nd round pick Stevan Ridley completely disappearing. Lynch was held to 43 yards rushing. Inexcusable, but worse was Ridley. He was very shitty and was benched in the 2nd half. Ryan better hope Ridley gets his shit together because Shane Vereen was the better back but injured his wrist thus making Ridley the defacto starter. Tom Brady was very mediocre and week 1 shows he misses all the weapons he used to have. He only had 15 fantasy points. Marques Colston did score, as did Stevie Johnson ,but their yardage wasn't too great. Brent Celek added a TD to make the loss not as bad. It was just a bad overall week for Ryan. Luckily if Ridley sucks again, he can possibly turn to Eddie Lacy. He'll have a chance to redeem himself next week against an equally struggling team in Leland. Albert plays Eugene next week.

Game MVP
Peyton Manning (Channel 4 News Team)
462 Passing Yards, 7 Passing TD's, 46 fantasy points
 
Danny's Little Giants (1-0)      95.50
Tebow4President (0-1)            66.00

Geez what a ugly clusterfuck of a matchup this was. Let's start with the positives for me. Well, I won..whoopty fuck. At least LeSean McCoy and Larry Fitzgerald proved to be excellent draft choices. I had a gut feeling about McCoy which is why I targeted him over guys like Jamaal Charles (who was gone anyways, but still would've taken McCoy over Charles) Doug Martin, and Arian Foster. At least for one week, he made me look smart. He RIPPED the Redskins apart for 180 yards and a TD. If he stays healthy, in this offense, he seriously will challenge for #1 RB status. All Fitz needed was a real QB to become fantasy gold again. Palmer and him hooked up for 2 TD's. DeSean Jackson also could be a very high end #3 receiver if Vick and him stay healthy. I like what I see in that Philly offense. Jackson had over 100 yards receiving and a TD. Pierre Garcon was a tad disappointing. He was supposed to gash this supposed awful Eagles secondary, but was held in check for 64 yards. Hopefully he rebounds from that, because I'm going to basically need everyone else to step up big time after the debacle that was David Wilson. Never in the 10+ years I've played fantasy football have I had a position player score negative points. I've had zeroes, and negative defense performances, but NEVER at a skill position. UNTIL NOW. David Wilson was the shittiest piece of shit of the week. My 3rd round pick and #2 RB totally shit the bed against the Cowboys. 2 fumbles and boom he's benched the rest of the game. What a joke. It already puts a downer on this win, because if Wilson is relegated to more a timeshare situation, his value plummets, and in a 12 team league, I can't afford to have a RB #2 who won't perform. Hopefully the Giants haven't completely given up on him and he'll bounce back. Cam Newton was also pretty bad, but that was predictable given the matchup. If you think I had it bad...man look what happened to Leland's team. It's only week 1, but picking C.J. Spiller over Adrian Peterson (who had 3 TD's) was a disaster this go around. Spiller was inefficient, fumbled, and Fred Jackson had better numbers. The hype on Spiller was huge coming into the season, it magnified ever more when he was taken #1 overall. Hopefully for Leland, Spiller will rebound. Then there was the Trade Leland made. The good news? Stafford is definitely going to be a major upgrade from Jay Cutler. 357 passing yards, 2 TD's for 20.5 points. The bad news? The rest of his team kinda looks bare and it shows. Lamar Miller...ugh half a point. T.Y. Hilton? 3.5 points. James Jones? 0 points. If not for Miles Austin and some garbage time points from Brandon Myers, Leland could've set an all time scoring record. Now don't get me wrong, Jones and Hilton aren't that bad, but they aren't #1 and #2 WR good. It's gonna be a long season if this is type of effort the defending champ is going to get from his guys. Leland players Ryan next week, while I take on Matt.

Game MVP
LeSean McCoy (Danny's Little Giants)
184 rushing yards, 1 rushing TD, 1 catch 5 receiving yards, 24.5 points
Philadelphia Eagles running back LeSean McCoy celebrates has he crosses the goal line for a touchdown during the second half of an NFL football game against the Washington Redskins in Landover, Md., Monday, Sept. 9, 2013

I'm A Paul Heyman Guy (1-0)       143.50
Dr. Light's Robots  (0-1)                118.50

Trust me Matt, I know the feeling. When you score 118.5 points and lose because you play the team with the highest score of the week, well..it sucks.  This week proved just how DOMINANT Drew's running backs can be. 57 combined points from the duo of Adrian Peterson and Reggie Bush. It won't be the last time they combine for that or more this season. Andrew Luck didn't have a great yardage game, but 2 passing TD's and a rushing TD helped a lot. Jordan Cameron was a beast, Hakeem Nicks and Danny Amendola had good games, only Cecil Shorts was disappointing. Just too much firepower for Matt to contend with. For Matt, two guys REALLY killed his chances of a victory. Roddy White is dealing with an ankle issue and it shows. He was used primarily as a decoy and only had 2 points on the day. MJD was almost as bad. 4 points on the day for him. In that dreadful Jacksonville offense, it's going to be tough for MJD as teams will probably make sure he doesn't beat them. The rest of his team was very solid. How about Jared Cook. Two TD's (should've been 3, but he fumbled right before crossing the endzone) and 141 yards for 27.5 points. Jordy Nelson and Reggie Wayne had excellent games, Jamaal Charles was good and though he started very slow. RGIII ended up with 20 points. Losing sucks, but points do matter, so you want to score as many points as you can, even in a losing effort. Matt goes from one cousin to another, as he plays me next, while Drew takes on Mike Posey in the battle of undefeateds.

Game MVP
Adrian Peterson (I'm A Paul Heyman Guy)
93 rushing yards, 2 rushing TD's, 4 receptions, 18 receiving yards, 1 receiving TD
 Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson (28), defended by Detroit Lions free safety Louis Delmas (26), runs into the end zone for a 4-yard touchdown during the second quarter of an NFL football game at Ford Field in Detroit, Sunday, Sept. 8, 2013
 
Passion ofthe Puente (1-0)      112.50
Bigger Balls (0-1)                       86

One of these powerhouses was going to start 0-1. Mike's team was hands down the better team this week, just because of the more balanced team he has. Even though his running back play was lackluster (just 13 points combined from that position) the trio of receivers he had really carried him as all had 18.5 or more points. Throw in a decent Gonzo game, Romo doing his thing, and a surprising performance from  WR #4 Andre Roberts, and it was enough to overshadow Foster and Bradshaw's weak performances. For Mayra, Calvin Johnson and Dez Bryant MUST carry their weight for her to succeed. If they don't, the team doesn't have enough to carry the load. They didn't even come close. 9 points combined. That's unacceptable and a big reason Mayra took the loss. Aaron Rodgers was great, but he needed help and really only got it from Vernon Davis (98 yards, 2 TD's, 24 points) and Darren Sproles (13 points). Calvin and Dez won't be this bad again, but unfortunately for Mayra she has yet another tough matchup this time in Kenny. Mike will take on Drew who is also undefeated.

Game MVP
Wes Welker (Passion ofthe Puente)
9 receptions, 67 receiving yards, 2 receiving TD's, 1 fumble lost, 20.5 points

NFL: Baltimore Ravens at Denver Broncos

The Bad Robofies (1-0)           138.50
Springville Warrior (0-1)             74

I know I predicted Dad would win, but wow this bad? He scored the 2nd highest points of the week (crazy, since Dad's had notorious low scoring teams the past two seasons) and also biggest blowout of the week, destroying Eugene in his debut week by 64 points. I guess I can eat my "Dad's got the weakest team of the league" words. Colin Kaepernick was BRILLIANT. The scary thing, he did it all in the air. Over 400 yards passing and 3 passing TD's for 30 points. There's seriously not weapon like him. How bout "old washed up" Anquan Boldin? Amazing performance as well. 13 catches for 208 yards, 1 TD and 32.5 points. Him and Kaepernick have great chemistry and just maybe Boldin wasn't a reach after all. Andre Johnson was a PPR MONSTER (12 catches, 146 yards) though it'd be nice if he could score a TD every once in a while! Rueben Randle looks like a solid #4 receiver as he had a 100 yard game, Jimmy Graham and McFadden chipped in with TD's and combined with Ray Rice's Thursday Night game, was more than enough to take care of Eugene. Rough week for the Lawrence brothers. They scored the lowest points in the league this week. Trent Richardson was awful (though not fault of his, he only got 13 carries) and Demarco Murray lead the team in scoring with 15. Only Russell Wilson and Julio Jones had double digits besides Murray. Richardson won't be this bad, but those receivers outside of Julio Jones are question marks. Dad will take on Mark in a battle of undefeated records, while Eugene has the daunting task of taking on Albert. Welcome the Wane McGarity Bowl Eugene!

Game MVP
Anquan Boldin (The Bad Robofies)
13 receptions, 208 receiving yards, 1 receiving TD, 32.5 points

San Francisco 49ers wide receiver Anquan Boldin (81) scores on a 10-yard touchdown reception against past Green Bay Packers defensive back Jerron McMillian (22) during the second quarter of an NFL football game in San Francisco, Sunday, Sept. 8, 2013





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