So we're still in uncharted territory here as both Ryan and Eugene by 10 points and less narrowly win their respective matchups and stay undefeated at 6-0. They can both tie the 2nd best start in league history next week with 7 wins (well, Eugene WILL tie it...he plays me next...that's the most surest fucking win you can have). It's pretty crazy and it's a testament to both guys in how they drafted and picked up players throughout the season so far. Here's this week's results.
No Soup For You (3-3) 135.50
Bay Area Tanners (1-5) 91.36
"The underachieving team rights the ship and slaughters me" That's exactly what I said right? Because heaven forbid I do what Drew did and win with a shitbag team..nope of course not..I lose as usual by a lot because who knows..it's me. Like I didn't call this all week (and every week). So beyond predictable that it's makes me wanna cry. Beyond sick of it. I hate this shit with every fiber of my being. Now I play Eugene and his undefeated team which means loss #6. Whatever..fuck this.
Game MVP
David Johnson (No Soup For You)
111 Rushing Yards, 3 Rushing TD's, 3 Receptions ,27 Receiving Yards, 33.3 Points
Light's Broken Bots (3-3) 106.34
BigBadBob (0-6) 79.58
Well obviously us Puentes have no clue how to play this game. 1-11 record this season. Like Son like Father in this case. Dad's team was terrible outside of Cam. Matt's team wasn't great, but if you're playing me or Dad, you really don't have to be. Brady and Gronk were great again and Kelvin Benjamin and Jamaal Charles both had double digits. See...all you need is a back to back helping of playing me and Dad to get your season back on track. Unfortunately for Matt he has to now play real competition with teams that actually have a shot to win like Mayra. Dad's next loss is against Leland next week.
Game MVP
Tom Brady (Light's Broken Bots)
376 Passing Yards, 3 Passing TD's, 30.24 Points
Woe Is You (4-2) 122.94
Channel 4 News Team (4-2) 88.38
Well after 3 straight dominating wins, Albert's team gets crushed by Mike's this week as really only Andrew Luck showed up. Disappointing receiver performances by A.J. Green, Hilton and Doug Baldwin hurt Albert pretty badly this week. For Mike, looks like he found a nice waiver wire pickup in Cameron Meredith. He had nearly 17 points and Jonathan Stewart is back and healthy with 2 TD's and nearly 21 points. FINALLY we saw the Odell Beckham that made Mike take him #3 overall. Beckham was insane with 222 receiving yards and 2 TD's (211 of those yards came in the 2nd half). Terrelle Pryor had a great added 65 yards and two scores himself. Despite season ending losses of Eric Decker and Keenan Allen, Mike's quietly been doing pretty good with a 4-2 record. He gets what should be a pretty easy matchup against Drew, while Albert looks to end Ryan's undefeated streak.
Game MVP
Odell Beckham Jr. (Woe Is You)
8 Receptions, 222 Receiving Yards, 2 Receiving TD's 1 Fumble Lost, 36.20 Points
Hoosier Daddy (6-0) 115.06
Bigger Balls (3-3) 104.50
Mayra's team is on a bit of a slide since that 3-0 start and it doesn't seem to be getting any easier anytime soon. The big news is Ben Roethlisberger was injured and has an uncertain timetable for a return. Last year, that killed Antonio Brown's season while Ben was out and it can threaten to do the same this year. That and Matt Forte just completely sucking after 2 games has taking the sails off Mayra's season recently. She finally got the Lamar Miller breakout game everyone's been waiting for (178 total yards and 2 TD's) but it wasn't enough as the majority of her team underperformed pretty badly. Outside of Matt Ryan (who's been AMAZING) AND Amari Cooper (and to an extant Mike Wallace) it was another overall disappointing effort. For Ryan, he sneaks out a victory thanks to KENNY BRITT of all people. I give props to Ryan who has used to waiver wire to his advantage this year with pickups like Britt and Henry, two big reasons he's still undefeated after 6 weeks. Also, Christine Michael was great with 2 rushing TD's and Zeke was Zeke with another 157 yard performance. Luckily those performances were able to hide the bad (Roethlisberger's injury, Crabtree and Ingram terrible games). The Big Ben injury isn't even too much of a big deal because Ryan has Philip Rivers to plug in. He'll definitely have a tough road to win #7 with Albert next on the horizon, while Mayra takes on Matt and will try to end her 3 game losing streak.
Game MVP
Kenny Britt (Hoosier Daddy)
7 receptions, 136 Receiving Yards, 2 Receiving TD's, 29.10 Points
Rocket Man (6-0) 91.06
SCLSU MudDogs (2-4) 87.50
Man...so close to defeating both Lawrence brothers, but ultimately Larry Fitzgerald's let down performance Monday Night did Alex in as he loses by less than 4 points. I hate to harp on it, but I'm really sure he'd like to get that week back where he lost because he didn't play a tight end because there's a ton of 3-3 teams in his path now blocking his playoff chance. Awful performances from everyone but Drew Brees, Le'veon Bell, and Jimmy Graham. For Eugene, he barely escapes and his guys didn't really play much better. He keeps winning despite Aaron Rodgers struggles and really outside of Julio (who saved him again despite a bad matchup) and Duke Johnson of all people, everyone was a disappointment on Eugene's team. You can pretty much lock Eugene into an 8-0 start because he plays me next week and then my Dad in Week 8. Spoiler Alert, because he's playing against me and it's Thursday Night against the Bears, Aaron Rodgers breaks his 17 games without a 300 yard game streak and goes nuts with over 300 and multiple scores. Just watch...I dare you to say I'm going to be wrong. For Alex, opportunity lost, but still he's only a game behind 4 teams and if you aren't playing me or my Dad, the next best team is to play Mark and that's exactly who he's playing next week.
Game MVP
Julio Jones (Rocket Man)
7 Receptions, 139 Receiving Yards, 1 Receiving TD, 23.40 Points
THE SPOILER (3-3) 107.22
Shock The Monkey (1-5) 76.64
It seriously pisses me off that Drew and Mike's team can lose such key guys on their rosters and their waiver wire pickups pan out and they win while I don't even have injuries and my guys just SUCK. Even Drew's "good" players, Eddie Lacy and Allen Robinson have been MASSIVE disappointments, yet here's Drew 3-3 and dispatches Mark easily this week. Unbelievably frustrating that things never pan out like this for me but they do for everyone else (like when Eugene had a "bad on paper" team last year and managed to finish 3rd). So the "Mad Scientist" plays Jalen Strong and Carson Palmer and both fail miserably but thanks to Terrence West (87 and 2 scores) Coby Fleener (Fleenfuck with 74 yards and two TD's, one of them RUSHING...like really!??! C'monnnn) and Cole Beasley (58 and two scores) Drew gets the easy win. Notice how I didn't say Eddie Lacy, Allen Robinson, and Ryan Mathews? Because THEY SUCKED...yet somehow DREW STILL FUCKING WINS....such bullshit. For Mark, I eerily see parallels to my team. We both have shoddy QB's (his has been a combo of Blake Bortles and Carson Palmer, while mine has been a steady shit stream of Eli, Dalton, and Alex Smith) underachieving pussies (Alshon Jeffrey, Latavius Murray, and Dez for Mark, basically my whole team outside of Mike Evans and LeSean McCoy). We have that one super elite RB that surprised everyone but since the rest of our team sucks beyond belief it doesn't matter how good they are (DeMarco Murray for Mark, and LeSean McCoy for me). Mark lost because half of his team was mediocre (5 guys scored between 11 and 13 points) and the rest were just flat out bad (Under 8 points for Barnidge, Under 5 points for Deandre Washington, barely over 2 points for Jeremy Kerley). Dez coming back is the only shot in the arm Mark can get at this point and he'll have to wait one more week for that as Dallas is on bye. Mark plays Alex next week, while Drew continues his unfathomable run against Mike.
Game MVP
Terrence "I Can't Believe I'm Typing This" West
87 Rushing Yards, 2 Rushing TD's, 4 Receptions, 36 Receiving Yards, 26.3 Points
P.S. This is a stupid sham of a "game" that requires zero skill only luck. My only hope is that somehow there's some legal loophole that makes this shit illegal to play in all 50 states and it gets banned from every being played in the United States again...if Trump or Hilary can promise that they can eliminate Fantasy Football forever...they get my undying support and vote.
#DownWithFantasyFootball
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