Well...I'm as toxic as toxic can be when it comes to pimping teams. I guess my bad luckness just reeks everywhere because after I finally bought in to Mark's team and picked him to beat Leland..he promptly loses and now we have no more undefeated teams left. Mayra can sleep at night now knowing her record remains. So it's pretty crazy that after 5 weeks, it's a tight a tight race can be with no extremes either way. There's no undefeated teams left and there's no winless teams either...in face there's only one 4-1 team while the rest of us are 3-2 and 2-3. Honestly it's the deepest the league's ever been as I think there's a lot of good teams but every team has it's weakness so anyone can beat anyone on any given week. Here's more of the madness that happened in Week 5.
The Results
SCLSU Muddogs (2-3) 92.50
Rigmas Forever (3-2) 66.90
Channel 4 News Team (3-2) 114.62
I Am Queens Blvd. (2-3) 99.02
Trump 2020 (3-2) 112.16
Underdawg (2-3) 85.74
Scott's Tots (2-3) 132.60
Hoosier Daddy (2-3) 118.80
Light's Broken Bots (3-2) 100.02
Rocket Man (2-3) 90.82
No Soup For You (2-3) 110.32
Shock The Monkey (4-1) 94.30
Top 5 Scorers
James Connor (No Soup For You) 32.50 Pts
Todd Gurley (I Am Queens Blvd) 31.30 Pts
Drew Brees (I Am Queens Blvd) 30.22 Pts
Odell Beckham Jr. (Channel 4 News Team) 28.38 Pts
Eric Ebron (SCLSU MudDogs) 27.00 Pts
Top 5 Scorers (Non QB)
James Connor (No Soup For You) 32.50 Pts
Todd Gurley (I Am Queens Blvd) 31.30 Pts
Odell Beckham Jr. (Channel 4 News Team) 28.38 Pts
Eric Ebron (SCLSU MudDogs) 27.00 Pts
Saquon Barkley (Underdawg) 26.90 Pts
Top 5 Duds
MY WHOLE FUCKING TEAM 66.90 PTS
Notable Injuries
Brandin Cooks (SCLSU MudDogs)
Cooper Kupp (Trump 2020)
Jay Ajayi (SCLSU MudDogs)
Highest Scoring Team
Scott's Tots (132.60 Pts)
Lowest Scoring Team
Rigmas Forever (66.90 Pts) (New League Low...surprise surprise)
Biggest Blowout
26.42 Pts (Trump 2020 vs Underdawg)
Closest Game
9.2 Pts (Light's Broken Bots vs Rocket Man)
Week 5 Notes: This is why you'll never tell me that my luck isn't the absolute worst out of the 12 people in this league. Sure others have backbreaking losses, but there's no doubt in my mind that I have the most backbreaking losses, ties, and embarrassing losses and streaks in this league. It's why this game drives me to the brink...it's why I'm a pessimistic whiny asshole. NOONE loses like I do. So I play against Alex..worst team in the league who I have a 100 pt advantage over season long in points. He has two zeroes in his lineup and a 1.9 AND I LOSE BY NEARLY 26 FUCKING POINTS. Alex's team was crap..more than 60% of his points came from Luck/Ebron..all he did was meet his team's projections which if I had met mine would've meant a 20 pt loss the other way...instead I score 40 LESS than my projections and don't even reach 70...against the worst team in the league. Just..whatever man..this shit happens to no one else in this league..period. As if it can't get worse? I play Leland next week WITHOUT Kamara or Michael Thomas...I'm a 30 pt dog off the bat and guess what..unlike others where projections don't matter and they beat them..I'm 99% I'm going to get annihilated next week. None of yall will understand the constant frustration I've had the 9 years in this league. I also set the lowest score of the season record (look up most of the shitty records..they belong to me) so this just totally obliterated the .2% faith I had in my team. I'll be 3-3 and out of the playoff hunt by next week. Alex loses Cooks to a concussion and Ajayi to a season ending ACL Tear. The only way Alex would make the playoffs is if it he played me the rest of the way, I don't see him standing a chance against Kenny. So yeah..because it's fantasy football..Mark loses to the team he fleeced David Johnson from and is no longer undefeated. If I make a trade like that, it would kill me, but Leland just trades away David Johnson (who's played much better) and it doesn't matter, he just wins, and he'll be 3-3 next week after he destroys my team. Mark's got a matchup up with Matt next week and he'll be without his Lion fucks so Matt should have the advantage there. Speaking of Matt, he picks up a nice win against Eugene despite having just the weirdest roster I've seen. But hey it works, and I obviously don't know dick, because I didn't think this team would be any good yet here it is. Adam Thielen has been amazing but honestly he's the only one of that stood out this week. It was a bunch solid but not spectacular plays all around but it got the job done. For Eugene..man..that's 3 losses in a row. His RB situation is in disarray as outside of Melvin Gordon he has nothing really behind him as Matt Breida got hurt and Lamar Miller has been a bust since trading for him. Also Julio Jones is doing the "get yards but not TD's thing" and even he had an inexplicably bad game. Things don't get easier for him as he takes on Albert next week. So now we go to Albert, after two straight performances in the 70's, he bounced back nicely and beat Drew's struggling team. He finally got an Odell Beckham performance that made him worth taking with the 2nd pick overall, while getting Joe Mixon back was a huge plus. He still has a weird RB situation as Kenyon Drake and Isaiah Crowell both went OFF on his bench, but it's just sooooo hard to trust them on a weekly basis. For Drew, him, me and Eugene have to be the most disappointing teams in the league so far. The Dalvin Cook injury is really screwing him over and there's only so much Todd Gurley and Drew Brees can do. Even 30 pt performances on the regular from Gurley can't get Drew a win, because of the disappointment of the rest of his roster. He's got another tough matchup against my Dad next week and he'll be without the services of Drew Brees. My Dad, he continues this weird streak of winning the blowout of the week and then being the blowout of the week victim the very next week. It's happened every week so far. One of the strangest things I've ever seen. He ran into a buzzsaw as Mike's team continues to look great and put up good points. Mike's won 3 in a row now and leads the league in scoring pretty comfortably. He did it without the services of Mike Evans too who was on bye. There's a little concern that Cooper Kupp's concussion might keep him out so hopefully for Mike's sake he's OK as he faces Ryan next week. Ryan is the unfortunate victim this week of putting up the 2nd most points of the week...but facing the team who put the most points up in Kenny. It actually looked like Ryan had a solid chance to win before Mark Ingram exploded in his return to the Saints last night. Now that Kenny's got all weapons back, there's no doubt he's got one of the most balanced teams in the league that really reminds me of last year's squad that came up a few points away from winning it all. After a slow start, he'll definitely go to 3-3 as he faces Alex next week.
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