There is literally nothing worse in Fantasy Football than a "bad beat". Those unbelievable bullshit loses that rip your heart out and leave you so deflated, that it makes you just wanna quit and never play this sadistic game again. A bad beat can be losing to a team that you really shouldn't lose to...playing against the most unlikely player and watching him go off. Lose by less than a 5 points or even less the one point (hellooooooo last year's 3rd place game) or lose to a miraculous play that just shouldn't happen but because of circumstances beyond your control does happen. That was my "bad beat" this week and it's also why I never AND I MEAN NEVER start talking shit or boasting about a win until the final clock shows 0:00 for every single game that me and my opponent have. I was surprisingly up 18 points going into the final Colts drive and allllllllllll I needed was the Chargers D to not allow Andrew Luck to throw a deep TD to T.Y. Hilton and I'd win the game and go on to a 2-1 season. Hilton caught a short 9 yard pass before setting up a...you guessed it...61 yard TD (on a fucking SLANT..nonetheless which he took to the house because the Chargers D just really couldn't help themselves by being fucking pathetic) which turned an 18 point lead into a 5 point deficit. Just like that, 2-1 was snatched away from me and I'm now 1-2 with my season on life support already (Ok not really, but when you lose like THAT...that's how it feels). The punch in the balls feeling is not a fun one and what made it even crueler...was fake hope. Because the universe loves fucking with me, the Tampa Bay-Rams game was postponed due to inclement weather which meant that I still had a small semblance of a chance to win (yeah right...like this shit EVER goes my way). The Rams were up 5, but it was 3rd and 11 near their goal with 2 minutes left so the Bucs would have to go into pass mode when they got the ball back to score a TD to win the game. It wasn't outside the realm of possibility that Evans, who already had 10 catches for 130 yards, could catch a couple and possibly a TD. But of course, that wasn't in the cards, the Bucs drove but not one pass was to Evans, and though they got all the way to the 15, the Bucs ran out of time and lost the game...and so did I. So I have now lost 6 out of my 7 matchups going back to last season and if you go back EVEN FURTHER I'm a pathetic 3-8 over my last 11 matchups after starting last season 7-0. Proof that I suck at this shit and it's not going to get any better. I can handle the losing, but this loss...it's going to sting for a long while. I hope Ryan just beats the shit outta me next week (which will happen, no doubt) so I can get over this loss.
Channel 4 News Team (2-1) 113.14
Bay Area Tanners (1-2) 108.00
Already recapped in the intro. Spare me the agony of doing it again.
Game MVP
T.Y. Hilton (Channel 4 News Team)
8 Receptions, 174 Receiving Yards, 1 Receiving TD (61 Yarder to win the matchup), 27.40 Points
THE SPOILER (1-2) 106.66
Light's Broken Bots (0-3) 85.62
Wow...even though the scores don't really reflect it as the scores are actually decent...this was UGLY. There were two donuts and a NEGATIVE .50 scored in this game. The team that had the -.50 WON. Unbelievable and a really bad loss for Matt who was facing quite possibly the team with the worst roster in the league. How Kelvin Benjamin got blanked is insane, at least Gronk had an excuse with a snap count and coming back from injury. Also what hurt Matt was Russell Wilson getting hurt in a blowout game. He was having a solid game before the injury, but as a precaution and because they didn't need him he got benched for the rest of that game. The only bright spots were Jordy Nelson (101 yards and 2 TD's) and Jeremy Hill (97 rushing yards and 2 TD's). For Drew...it's a win...but the news just gets worse. He's already thin and decimated all around and now if Ryan Mathews is hurt, it's another blow. His ragtag team though got it done, though it took Matt's guys getting two donuts and a benched Russell Wilson to barely win against a winless team. Ryan Tannehill was a good spot start with over 300 yards passing and 3 Passing TD's and like everyone knew would happen Allen Robinson woke up and had the best game of his season with 57 yards and 2 TD's. Eddie Lacy actually had 100 yards rushing and Shane Vereen scored a TD (though he fumbled again, and starting losing work to Orleans Darkwa). Coby Fleener was a pleasant surprise with 109 yards and a score. You take any win you can get so Drew lived up to his team name and SPOILED Matt's chance at Win #1. Here comes the ultimate jinx....Drew plays Leland next week and with Mathews hurt and on bye anyways on top of Eddie Lacy on bye....there's no chance in hell Drew's winning. Leland could probably play half his team and still win easily. For Matt, week 4 becomes must win against Alex. Matt won't have Jordy Nelson's services as he's on bye and he needs to hope Gronk will be ready to roll after a 10 day layoff and also if Jamaal Charles is FINALLY coming back. Should be interesting to say the least.
Game MVP
Allen Robinson (THE SPOILER)
7 Receptions, 57 Receiving Yards, 2 Receiving TD's, 21.20 Points
Rocket Man (3-0) 98.00
Woe Is You (1-2) 76.36
Hey Eugene, if you slip me some of the prize money at the end of the season, I'll keep picking you to lose alllllll season long buddy! Eugene is quietly taking care of business as he easily dispatches Mike's team this week to stay undefeated. Eugene's gotta be pleased with seeing Aaron Rodgers FINALLY be....AARON RODGERS. You don't keep a guy in the 2nd round to watch him score the same amount of points of the likes of Carson Palmer, Eli Manning etc...this week Rodgers was great..though he did all his damage in the 1st half with 4 TD's...the lead was so big he didn't have to do much else but still an encouraging sign. It also looks like the Melvin Gordon gamble has paid off in spades...thanks to Gordon's improvement and Danny Woodhead's season ending injury, Gordon so far has looked like a legit RB1 this season. He's involved in the passing game as well and had 78 total yards and another TD. Jordan Matthews didn't do much, under 20 yards, but did score a TD and Travis Kelce finally showed up with 6 catches for 89 yards and a score. The RB2 situation is still a problem, but hey, Eugene's won 3 in a row despite it, so no reason to think it's a major problem. Also Julio was quiet yet again with only 16 yards, but you know he'll bounce back and again Eugene is winning despite that so it doesn't seem to be a big deal. For Mike, a very disappointing effort this week as his team didn't even score 80 points. Derek Carr was mediocre, while Stefon Diggs, Eric Decker, and CJ Anderson were held to 14.2 points COMBINED. You won't win with your studs doing that and I doubt they will all get held down like that again at the same time At least Mike has a Jonathan Stewart replacement for the next couple weeks as Charles Sims led the way with 124 total yards and a score. We still haven't seen why Jordan Reed was considering the best tight end to own besides Gronk. Another uneventful 56 yard performance. Still, not worried about Mike's team, it was just a bad overall week, he'll bounce back. He's got another tough task next week as he takes on Mayra, while Eugene will try to stay undefeated when he faces Mark (Eugene will be without the services of Aaron Rodgers) next week...do I smell....me picking against Eugene again???
Game MVP
Aaron Rodgers (Rocket Man)
205 Passing Yards, 4 Passing TD's, 22 Rushing Yards 30.40 Points
No Soup For You (2-1) 142.50
Shock The Monkey (1-2) 103.98
This team is just insane. Despite getting a combined 6.7 points from Randall Cobb and Brandin Cooks..Leland STILL puts up a season high 142.50 points and though Mark didn't play bad, he just never stood a chance in this offensive barrage. Half of Leland's squad had AT LEAST 20 POINTS A PIECE (Todd Gurley woke up with 85 and 2 scores, David Johnson has been AMAZING so far and he had over 100 yards and 2 scores, Matthew Stafford had nearly 400 yards and 3 TD's and who needs Megatron when Marvin Jones has stepped up into that role FLAWLESSLY with a 205 yard 2 TD, 35.5 point performance). Sterling Shepard also continues to look legit with 73 yards and a score and the receiver depth on this team is literally just unfair (Leland didn't play Demaryius Thomas who had 100 and a score or Michael Thomas who had 71 and a score). This is Mayra circa 2014 level of domination and I don't know what any of us can really do. For Mark, Carson Palmer just absolutely KILLED him with 4 picks and 0 TD's against a weak Bills Defense. Dez scored, but injured his knee and him and Alshon continue to be erratic (Jeffrey only had 70 yards on 5 catches and 0 TD's) yet you keep expecting the talent to rise up. Hopefully for Mark, Dez's injury isn't too serious. Jarvis Landry had a hell of a game with 7 catches for 120 yards and a TD. Latavius Murray keeps getting saved by TD's, but he's in a full blown committee and he's entirely TD dependent. It's worked so far but take away his TD's and the low yardage games would be killing Mark. The one surprise though has been DeMarco Murray. Thought the be done and one mistake away from having Derrick Henry take over, Murray has been a BEAST through the first three weeks of the season. He had 155 total yards and a rushing TD this week, and as long as he stays healthy, he should have a great season. Jamison Crowder was also a great flex play with 78 and a score and has become more and more involved in the Redskins offense as the weeks go by. Leland has a bye next week when he takes on Drew and his super depleted team. I'm going to put my official jinx of all jinx and proclaim that there is nooooooooo way in hell Drew beats or even comes close to beating Leland next week. Mark's got another tough matchup..a date with Eugene's undefeated team (though no Aaron Rodgers who's on bye).
Game MVP
Marvin Jones (No Soup For You)
6 Receptions, 205 Receiving Yards, 2 Receiving TD's, 35.5 Points
Hoosier Daddy (3-0) 92.18
SClSU MudDogs (1-2) 87.64
Ever hear the old adage "this team didn't win the game...the other team lost it"? This is exactly what happened here. The only reason Ryan is undefeated is because Alex made the most critical mistake you can have in fantasy football. He didn't check the inactives and see that Delanie Walker wasn't playing, so he kept him in the lineup took a zero and saw Jimmy Graham score 17 points on his bench. This isn't sour grapes, this isn't being mean, it's just fact...Alex checks his team, puts in Jimmy Graham (who he would've used, because Alex has always had an affinity for Jimmy Graham because he's an ex-Saint) and Alex and Ryan are both 2-1. Part of having a successful season is getting the breaks and so far, Ryan has gotten a ton of them. Once again, Ryan's the lowest scoring winner and once again he played a team who scored at the bottom of the the league in points scored (3rd worst this week). Every year it happens though, someone plays an inactive (the funny and predictable thing is that it actually happened in my matchup, Albert left an inactive Gates in his lineup, but of course, he's playing me, so he still wins regardless) and they lose and it ends up being critical because in a competitive league like this every win counts. Last year, Albert lost on an inactive play and at the end of the season, it cost him a playoff spot. Just shows how important it is to be alert and make sure all your guys are playing. It basically came down to Drew Brees vs Mark Ingram and Ryan lucked out that Brees' final TD went to Ingram which cancelled out each other basically. At least Ingram looked damn good for Ryan with over 100 total yards and a TD. Ryan's got some RB depth and it's going to be hard to chose who to go with between Devonta Freeman and Tevin Coleman. Both have looked great in that Atlanta timeshare, but with Ingram and Zeke already at the RB position, Ryan can only play one and it's basically going to be a coin flip game to game. Zeke FINALLY had one of those games where you see why he was the 2nd overall player taken in the fantasy draft (although it WAS against the shitty Bears...still good players take advantage of great matchups and that's what Zeke did) as he had 140 rushing yards. The frustrating thing is the Cowboys had three rushing TD's and none of them were Zeke (Dak, Alf, and LANCE DUNBAR of all people...WHY IS DUNBAR, A PASSING BACK, GETTING GOAL LINE WORK?!?!). Hopefully that doesn't become a common occurrence. Big Ben and Deangelo Williams were awful but at least Ryan's wide receiver trio all had at least 10 points apiece. For Alex...inexcusable loss and hopefully for his sake it doesn't come to bite him at the end of the season. Drew Brees was magnificent with nearly 400 yards and 3 scores. Tyler Lockett got a zero too, so even with two zero's Alex had a solid shot at beating Ryan. The only other one worth talking about is Carlos Hyde who took advantage of garbage time to score 2 TD's and go over 100 yards rushing. The good news for Alex is that he'll finally get to unleash Le'Veon Bell next week as he's off suspension. Alex has a tough matchup against Matt next week, while Ryan will try to ride his lucky streak against me next week (ha, he couldn't ask for a better matchup).
Game MVP
Mark Ingram (Hoosier Daddy)
77 Rushing Yards, 4 catches 30 Receiving Yards, 1 Receiving TD, 20.70 Points
Bigger Balls (3-0) 94.10
BigBadBob (0-3) 92.68
This was wayyyyy closer than anticipated and literally came down to the last few minutes of last nights game. Unfortunately for Dad, he lost Mohammad Sanu to injury during the game and Willie Snead before the game (which resulted in a desperation Brandon Coleman play that actually worked as Coleman had 7 catches for 78 yards). I really believe if Sanu doesn't get hurt, Dad pulls off the upset. Also, a critical roster mistake cost Dad the game. When Dad kept seeing the Brandon Marshall was playing but limited he told himself he wasn't going to use him, thinking he wouldn't play well hurt and he had Darren Sproles in his lineup allll the way until around 3 o'clock when he got nervous and switched it back. Big mistake that cost him a win. Sproles went off for 21.70 points while Brandon Marshall was held to 3 catches for 27 yards. That's the kind of season Dad is having. He also lost Jeremy Langford in game to injury, Greg Olsen and Cam were bad and Emmanuel Sanders of all people kept Dad afloat with a 117 yard 2 TD performance. Frank Gore added 82 and a score as well. Dad is so decimated with injuries (Langford, Senad, Sanu, Rawls, Jennings, and a banged up Brandon Marshall) that I can't believe he was less than two points away from winning. I don't know what Dad's going to do going forward, as him and Drew are trying to see who can have the worst luck injury wise. For Mayra, it got scary, but she pulls off win #3 thanks to Matt Ryan coming though with 240 yards and 2 TD's. DeSean Jackson had 96 and a score and Antonio Brown was Antonio Brown with 140 yards. That's all worth talking about, but it was enough to stay undefeated. Dad will take on Albert next week, while Mayra will face a tough test against Mike Posey next week.
Game MVP
Matt Ryan (Bigger Balls)
240 Passing Yards, 2 Passing TD's, 23 Rushing Yards, 21.9 Points (Game Winning Performance)
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