Dr. Light's Robots (1-0-1) 78
Channel 4 News Team (0-0-1) 78
You read that right..a tie. This review might go all over the place so bear with me. We're actually going to start at the end...which was Monday Night. Matt entered the night with a 15 point lead. Albert still had Alshon Jeffrey left. The Bears were just ATROCIOUS all night. Beyond Pathetic. It looked like there was no way Albert was getting his points. To makes matters even worse..when the Bears FINALLY scored, Alshon Jeffrey was WIDE OPEN but Cutler went to rookie Marquess Wilson for the TD. He couldn't even get THAT. With the game bascially over and 5 minutes left I decided to say fuck this Matt won..and head to bed. A couple minutes later I get a BARRAGE of texts which at first I thought "I'll read em tomorrow morning". Then my Dad lets me know the news....ALSHON JEFFREY SCORED A TD...ALBERT JUST TIED MATT. I was in shock. I don't know what happened...or how..all I know is I got multiple people in our league texting me asking "WHAT HAPPENS NOW". It's insane that a trip to the championship game is now decided by a TIEBREAKER. That tiebreaker is Head to Head matchups which Matt won becuase he beat Albert by 3 FUCKING POINTS IN WEEK 11! Crazy doesn't even begin to describe what happened. Matt's in the finals (heaven forbid stat corrections happen..that would be super mean) due to a tiebreaker. For Albert..to add salt in the wound..there's one player he'll never forget the name of....DONTE MONCRIEF. Albert benched Anquan Boldin for him. Moncrief-0 points....Boldin-2. That decision cost Albert a guaranteed $150 bucks at the least. Brutal. In all honesty...the matchup was kinda of bad and if this is what's gonna happen next week..Mayra's winning by like 80 points. Neither team was very impressive but for Matt..once again Odell Beckham Jr was a godsend with yet another magnificent performance. Beckham had 12 catches for 143 yards and 3 scores for 36 points. If Matt doesn't keep him (and it's tough with Jordy and Jamaal Charles) Beckham is going to be a super hot commodity in the draft next year. Seriously though outside of that and a 14 point Big Ben game...nothing. Jordy, Emmanuel Sanders and Jamaal Charles combined for a pitiful 19.5 points and the rest of Matt's team did nothing of note. That RB #2 spot continues to kill Matt. Albert's team wasn't any better. Peyton Manning had another bad start and besides Alshon Jeffrey only Greg Olsen had good stats. Just a total letdown from both teams, but at least Matt fights on to see another day. For Albert, it's the first time that he's made the playoffs but not made the finals and the 3rd place game isn't a easy task either. It was a good season, but it has to feel underwhelming considering the expectations and 2nd place regular season finish. He has keeper questions and no 3rd rounder next year (thanks to the Alshon Jeffrey trade) so it'll be interesting to see what happens next year. DONTE MONCRIEF.......never forget....
Game MVP
Odell Beckham Jr (Dr. Light's Robots)
12 Receptions, 143 Receiving Yards, 3 Receiving TD's, 36 Points
Bigger Balls (1-0) 139.5
Rocket Man (1-1) 88.5
And from that to THIS. Not even CLOSE...ever. Eugene's team puts on one of the most disappointing performances in league history as his loaded all star team couldn't even put up 90 points. You can't blame Julio Jones being out...Harry Douglas performed well in his absence (10 for 131 yards). Aaron Rodgers picked the WRONG time to have his absolute worst game ever and Calvin Johnson was mediocre as fuck. Only DeMarco Murray decided to show up (2 TD's, 81 rushing yards). For Mayra...it's the same song and dance. For every bad Andrew Luck performance (14.5 points) There's Dez (114 yards, 3 TD's) and Le'veon Bell (119 Total Yards, 2 TD's) to pick up the slack. Only one player scored under 10 points (Mike Evans with 8..but he STILL scored a TD). Mike Wallace and Antonio Gates added TD's, and Antonio Brown had a great game yardage wise. Again..Matt Forte sucked..and Mayra STILL put up 139.5 points. It's insane. This is the best assembled team in league history and I'm sorry to be a downer but there's just no way Matt's winning next week. Not....a....chance. Mayra's taking this in dominant fashion and going out undefeated which is unbelievable. For Eugene...just a bad way to go out and next year he's out a few top picks. Hopefully he can at least salvage the season and get 3rd place. Definitely not where he'd hope he'd be after all the trades he made.
Game MVP
Dez Bryant (Bigger Balls)
6 receptions, 114 receiving yards, 3 receiving TD's, 32 Points
Other League News
I do this but no one gives a fuck. Alex beat Drew in the 5th place game which is basically the worst game to be in on the playoff side of the bracket. That officially means Alex and Drew are done for the season. Let's seeeeee the good news? Kenny's been in the finals 3 straight years! The bad news? Two of those years he's been in the Michael Wiley Loser Bowl. He beat my Dad and will now take on Ryan to see who wins the "coveted title". Mark and my Dad will face off in the ultra irrelevant 9th place game and to top it alllllll off....I decided to add the last cherry to this fucktastic shitfuck of a season and lose to Leland in the 12th place game. That's right...from 1st the last. What an honor. THANK GOD this miserable pile of shit season is OVER WITH FOR GOOD. What a nightmare.
No comments:
Post a Comment